Essay on the Impacts of Shopping

by Vishav
(Punjab)

I scored 6 in my writing, but I need minimum 7 band. Please check my essay, it will be very helpful for me.

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.

Why is shopping so popular?

What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?


In free time, people spend most of the time in purchasing something in showrooms or markets. Although, every person have different opinion on shopping and some believe that shopping works as a stress buster and it helps in keeping us up-to-date in market. But, I believe shopping leads to a problem because people buy lot more Unnecessary things and till the end they stuck in financial problems.

On the one hand, Shopping is very much famous in terms of passing time. There are many reasons behind this, like weather conditions in these days are very unpredictable. So, people spend most of the time in window shopping in multi-brand malls where air conditions works for 24 by 7 in case of summers and heaters in season of winters. In recent research,it was found that every weekend cloths outlets are earning 5 times more than weekdays.

On the other hand, increment in popularity of shopping has effected tragically to the many people and leads to weaken the social life of individuals. Earlier people used to meet each other in free time; So, that time they were socially very much active. But, now people spend time in purchasing things on their credit cards which turns out to be another problem for them. According to an article of New York times, 20% of suicide cases were due to financial crises which arisen because of loans taken for person needs.

In conclusion, I believe we should not spend our precious time into shopping and instead of that an individual can go out for travel and spend less time and money in shopping. In this way, people will be able to make better social life yet money will spent in traveling but it will also release stress and motivate to work more and earn.

Comments for Essay on the Impacts of Shopping

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Jun 26, 2017
Essay on the Impacts of Shopping
by: Anonymous

Hi

You have some problems with sentence structure and tenses like have or will have. You need to practice this to achieve a better IELTS score. Good luck

Jun 27, 2017
Lack of vocabulary and sentence structure
by: Anonymous

Hi. U need to work on sentence structure and avoid repetition of words like 'thing', 'very', 'many', 'purchase'.

Instead of that u can use synonyms. Try to use some complex and heavy words to make ur essay much effective.

Jun 27, 2017
how to improve?
by: Vishav

Hi,

Thanks for your feedback!

How to improve sentence structure and tenses?

Jun 29, 2017
How to improve
by: Anonymous

hi Visav. I also have the same problem about sentence structure and vocabulary. Now I start reading more and more English journals, columns and editorials, then try to find out the unknown words from dictionary. It takes time.

Jul 01, 2017
vocabulary
by: manpreet

Hello,

You have given good thoughts in your essay but need to add some heavy words. Start writing the vocabulary related to the common topics. For instance fashion, sci and tech, food, education.

Then fit the pertinent vocab accordingly... spend your time in reading the newspaper, specially editorial section. Good luck

Jul 06, 2017
feedback on Essay on the Impacts of Shopping
by: Anonymous

Please read the questions carefully like:

"Why is shopping so popular?"

You didn't explain this point.

"What are effects on society?" is not explained only eg. is given.

So elaborate more.

Jul 07, 2017
connectors?
by: u may call me chandu

You need to add some connectors which can show your opinion or idea's.

such as-

firstly, secondly, thirdly, furthermore, moreover, nevertheless, although, first of all and so on.

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