IELTS Bar Chart - Proportion of City Populations

Percentage of City Populations

Percentage of City Populations

Hi,

I have been studying for the IELTS for over a year now, and my reading and listening is acceptable (estimated to be 8.0+), but my writing has been stagnating at 5.5. :(

Can anyone give me some suggestions?

Here is a task 1 essay by me:


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The bar chart gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The bar chart illustrates the proportion of urban residents in six different areas of the world in 1950, 2007 as well as projections to 2050.

It can be seen that the proportion of the world's population living cities will have increased between 1950 and 2030. However, the change is more pronounced in regions than others.

For example, rapid urbanisation is expected in Africa and Asia, whose urban population is estimated to rise from just around 15% in 1950 to over 60% in 2050. The proportion of city dwellers in Ocenia, on the other hand, only saw a modest rise from 62% in 1930 to 71% in 2007, and is estimated to be just around 76% in 2050.

In Latin America and the Caribbean, only 42% of people were living in cities in 1970, a little less that the figure for Europe , which is at 51%. By 2007, however, the the latter had been surpassed by the former by around 4%, and this trend is expected to continue to 2050. Finally, North America is consistently the most urbanised region in the world from 1950 (64%) to 2050 (90%)

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It took me a very very long time to finish this one, because I did not know how to structure the essay, you know what should i describe in the 2nd part, so on and so on. And I can't seem to think of any idea!! :(

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Sep 16, 2016
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by: Anonymous

Hi,

If I may suggest, omit numbers or have it reduced and instead use descriptors like doubled the number, tripled, half of, and so on.

Mar 06, 2017
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by: AWEAS

a few mistakes that i noticed:

"as well as projections to 2050." - I couldn't find 2050 anywhere in the graph, i believe this to be an inaccuracy.

"will have increased between 1950 and 2030". It should either be "will have increased by 2030", or "increased from 1950 to the 2007 and is predicted to have increased by 2030"

Reading the third paragraph, i figured that you either gave us the wrong graph,( or a wrong graph is being displayed on my screen), or something else is going seriously wrong. Africa and Asia, despite having similar trends, have different figures, starting from 1950, Africa has 15% of its population living in urban areas, while the number is 17% for Asian, you can group them to write about their overall trend, but can't use a made up figure to describe them both. Continue on, the 60% in 2030 seems to be the world's figure instead of either Africa or Asia, as the figure are 51% and 54% respectively for the regions. After that, I couldn't find Oceania anywhere on the graph, for this, i'm assuming that a part of the graph was cut off.

For the last paragraph:

"In Latin America and the Caribbean, only 42% of people were living in cities in 1970, a little less that the figure for Europe , which is at 51%. By 2007, however, the the latter had been surpassed by the former by around 4%, and this trend is expected to continue to 2050. Finally, North America is consistently the most urbanised region in the world from 1950 (64%) to 2050 (90%)"

42% was 1950's number, not 1970.
Corrections: a little less than the figure of Europe, which was 51%.
By 2007, however, the the latter was surpassed by the former by around 4% ("had been" means that the surpassing happens before 2007, we don't have that information). Latin and Caribbean also is expected to continue to lead Europe in urbanisation with 84% comparing to 78% of Europe in 2030 (talking about trend seems to be unclear and missing out data in this case, imo).


Other comments:
- You missed Latin & Caribbean when grouping the group with rapid urbanisation, and didn't notice that North America and Europe shares similarities , you could have grouped L&C, Africa, Asia in to a group and NA, Eu into another group and compared them. As you missed that opportunity, NA described in your last sentence seems out of place and awkward, while the slower urbanisation in developed regions is omitted.






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