IELTS Essay: Mixed sex schooling

by Raj

Requesting your time to review the following essay of mine. It will be very helpful, if you could shed some light on areas to improve.

I need band 7 in writing which seems elusive at the moment.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Worldwide education is given utmost importance as it play's pivotal role in shaping an individual. In today's educational system, school's role is considered vital. Some argue that the schools for boys and girls should be separate while others refute this opinion. Both sides will be argued with reasoned analysis before reaching a conclusion.

The social environment has many sections of society with different upbringing. For example, in traditional countries, such as Saudi Arabia and Yemen, it is more common to see separate schools for boys and girls rather than mixed schools. This might be due to the social framework in these countries. It is argued by many in these countries that girls should be protected from males. To avoid any undue incidents, such as love affair or physical contact between boys and girls which might result in bad reputation for a family in their society. May be, this could be one among many reasons for some to argue that boys and girls should have separate schools.

On the other hand, modern societies often consider mixed schools as an opportunity in building a better individuals out of their kids. For instance, students from mixed schools tend to be more outspoken, not being shy while being around opposite sex. Girls learn, how to be bold in expressing themself from boys. Likewise, boys get an idea of commitment and politeness from girls. These attributes would help both boys and girls in their adult life, including personal and professional fronts. Thus, it can be seen, why some prefer mixed schools to be advantageous.

In conclusion, after a detailed analysis of both the sides of this argument, the positives obtained out of mixed schools outweigh the concept of separate schools for boys and girls. It is predicted that the co-education schools would be preferred more in the coming years.

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Aug 04, 2014
Mixed sex schooling
by: IELTS buddy


I think if you are not getting a 7 yet you are very close. It's generally a good essay - well organised with some interesting arguments to support it and some good vocab.

You could maybe try and put another argument in your first body paragraph as it only has one (and shorten the first part of that paragraph as this does not answer the question).

But I think it is possibly your grammar that is preventing you getting a 7.

It is pretty good, but there are quite a few minor errors such as missing articles.

"the majority" of sentences must be error free to get a 7 for grammar, which is difficult to achieve. You have quite a few minor errors, so it may be that the majority are not error free when you are in the test.

So you really need to focus on that.

I think you should be able to get the score you need soon though.

Good luck

Aug 07, 2014
Excessive use of possessive case with material things which seems wrong according to the rule of conjugation of pronouns.
by: sohanlal


Your attempt was good enough yet still need some rectification from grammatically point of view. As you had used apostrophe 's' with material things whereas as per the rule of conjugation of pronoun, one should use such apostrophe with living thing only. I think you must use (of) lieu to use the apostrophe. finally your attempt was good. best of luck

Aug 11, 2014
help and suggestions needed
by: samiullah

Hi ielts aspirants,

Although I have not gone through the test, rather just started the preparation for the same,let me tell you all this is an amazing site to follow.

Mine is an average as far as English language is concerned, and I am in need of 7.5 band in each of the four accepted band.

Could any body tell me how to improve,where to focus and almost how many months should I give before I take my exam..

Somebody please respond and help me .

Thank u all

Apr 12, 2015
by: Kv

i did my homework after reading this
thx bro

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