IELTS Table - Underground Railway System

by Wahyu
(Indonesia)

The table gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities

The table gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities

Hello,

My name is Wahyu and I want to improve my English writing skills.

Can anyone help me to correct, comment, or review my writing?

This is the writing, and thank you.


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The table provides information about the subway systems in six cities.

Based on the table, London subway is the oldest system from six cities and has the longest route, while Tokyo subway has the highest passengers per year (ppy). Los Angeles subway is the newest system and Kyoto has fewer passengers.

London subway opened in 1863 and became the first subway system in the world, it has 394 km route and 775 million ppy. Tokyo subway opened in 1927 and now has 155 km route, this subway system has the highest passengers with 1.927 million ppy. Paris subway opened in 1900, this system has 199 km route with 1.191 million ppy.

Washington D.C subway opened 1975 with 126 km route and has 144 million ppy. Another subway from the same country, Los Angeles subway opened in 2001, it only has 28 km route and 50 million ppy. Another system that worth to mention is Kyoto subway, opened in 1981 and has the lowest passengers with only 45 million ppy.

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Sep 13, 2016
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its my topic too and pretty confident with it
by: cez

First of all, I've noticed that you have contractions which is not allowed (as far as I know) in writing such as "ppy".

Secondly, you used the word "now" which is not correct because it is from the past, try to use simple past tense if its referring to a time element. Always remember not to use present tense.

Please study more on transitional words and pay attention to the trend which you lack in writing task 1.

And most importantly you don't have a conclusion which is very important in every writing task.

PLS READ samples as well.

Sep 13, 2016
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Conclusion
by: IELTS buddy

Actually you don't have to have a conclusion but you must have some kind of 'overview', which points out the major trend/s in the graph.

This could be placed as a conclusion but it could also go after the introduction.

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