IELTS Computer Delivered Tests + Band Score

IELTS Task 2 - Industrialisation and Environmental Problems.

by Clone
(Malaysia )

Industrialization is the cause of environmental problems in a country.


Do you agree?

Industrialization is very important during this decade. Industrialization have many types in the world. It is true industrialization can improve our economy status in this country. Many people said that industrialization is the cause of enviromental problem in a country especially Malaysia. I agree with this statement because it can damage our air and water.

Industrialization can damage the air. As we know that human needs air to stay alive that can produce carbon dioxide and transfer it to the plant then the plant provide us oxigen. Can we imagine if the air is polluted by this industry we can get more disease? After that, the enviroment can't be clean and no more fresh air. For example,the smoke from factory around the air and we smell the smoke which have a lot of acid can cause diseases.

Next,industrialization damages the water. Water is very important in our body. Water consists of hidrogen and oxigen. In Malaysia there are many rivers. If in rivers have many toxic from the factory. It can damage the aquatic live. From this situation the source of fish can become less.

In conculusion, the people behind industrialization must take this matter as a serious problem. We must love our enviromental and do something to maintain the earth to stay long. In my opinion to maintain the green earth goverment should organize campaigns for student that can make them love their earth.



Comments for IELTS Task 2 - Industrialisation and Environmental Problems.

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Sep 30, 2014
 IELTS Task 2 - Industrialisation and Environmental Problems
by: IELTS buddy

CONTENT

As regards your content, you have got the basic idea of how to organise an essay and support your ideas.

But it is too short – 237 words. Your second body paragraph is very short. You will be penalised for this.

GRAMMAR

Your real problems are with your grammar.
You must not miss important transitions. For example if you contrast positive and negative:

It is true industrialization can improve our economy status in this country. However, many people said that industrialization is the cause of environmental problem in a country especially Malaysia.

You have a lot of problems with your sentence structures such as missing out verbs or using relative clauses / subordinating clauses incorrectly. So you have many fragments. For example:

After that, the environment can't be clean and no more fresh air. .

Where is your subject verb after ‘and’.

For example, the smoke from factory around the air and we smell the smoke which have a lot of acid can cause diseases.

Where is your subject verb before smoke?

If in rivers have many toxic from the factory. It can damage the aquatic live.

Your independent and dependent clauses are not joined together.

These will mean a fairly low band score for grammar as you have shown you cannot write compound or complex sentences correctly.

And if you look at your second body paragraph, these are all simple sentences written together:

Next,industrialization damages the water. Water is very important in our body. Water consists of hidrogen and oxigen. In Malaysia there are many rivers.

You should never have lots of simple sentences together. This shows a limited ability to write more complex structures. You need to have some compound here as well.

You need to study these pages on sentence structure and other ones on the grammar pages:

Sentence Structure
Nov 03, 2014
 requires improvement
by: vohra

you have repeated many times the word industrialization
Oct 17, 2017
 improve economic
by: Anonymous

industrialization is very important in the country the butter way to improve economy status bit on other side there problem. industrialization very important in our daily life so as to improve economic and make many chance for job in time that to much population over all the world during decade. industrialization cause governmental polluted in the country many people said that other problem behind industrialization area like water damage and also air damage caused by that reason i agree with this idea because all people need pure water and air both of of them most important their life

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