IELTS Writing Task 2:
Mobility due to improved transport and communication

by Vida
(China)

Today, people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose, because of improved communication technology and transport.


Do the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh its disadvantages?


Nowadays we may not only enjoy our talking or meeting through touching one button on a small screen whenever we are and wherever we are,but we also may enjoy our travelling with a variety of means of transport. There is no doubt that the new science and technology are bringing huge changes into our life.

Firstly, for the globalization, the time and distance are no longer barriers to the international trade and exchange like teleconferencing as a result of improvement of communication means and transport. Secondly, for education, all kinds of the teaching approaches such as distance learning allow teachers and students to work more efficiently and effectively. Furthermore, for our daily life, people could live or work at any place they are willing to, even miles away from their hometown as they could be back home easily by bus, underground, private car, fairy, flight and so on and stay in touch with their family at any time by the means of communication equipments.

However, everything has a negative side. While we enjoy the comforting and luxury of our dwelling derived from the development of science and technology, we have to realize that some damages on human health and living environment also have been occurred inevitably. As we known, the development of the automobile industry has been intensified the consumption of the natural resources and the pollution of environment. Another notable problem is that people are becoming more and more over dependent on using all types of digital devices. Some researches have shown that these kinds of products would generate the new human illnesses and would have the negative effect on some abilities of human such problem solving without those products.

Overall, everything has two sides, positive and negative. Therefore, the advanced science and technology give us more convenient and more comfortable life; meanwhile it also has the negative fallout. But in my view, the advantages of this should outweigh its disadvantages because development is the only meaning of the existence of mankind. The key point should be what we are going to minimize the risks resulted by development and take all outcome of development into consideration on the ground of concept of sustainability.

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Corrected Version:

Nowadays we may not only enjoy our talking or meeting through touching one button on a small screen whenever we are want and wherever we are, but we also may enjoy our travelling with a variety of means of transport. There is no doubt that the new science and technology are bringing huge changes into our life.
(You should try and make the topic a bit clearer in your introduction i.e. being able to ‘live and work anywhere’).

Firstly, for the regarding globalization, the time and distance are no longer barriers to the international trade and exchange like teleconferencing as a result of the improvement of communication means and transport. Secondly, for regarding education, all kinds of the teaching approaches such as distance learning allow teachers and students to work more efficiently and effectively (It's not clear how these first two points you have mentioned - 'trade' and 'education' - are answering the question. How are they related to living and working anywhere?). Furthermore, for our daily life, people could live or work at any place they are willing to, even miles away from their hometown as they could be back home easily by bus, underground, private car, fairy ferry, flight plane and so on and stay in touch with their family at any time by the means of communication equipment (And here you have mainly repeated what is in the question - you haven't explained what kind of communication - you need more specific details and examples).

However, everything has a negative side. While we enjoy the comforting and luxury of our dwelling derived from the development of science and technology (How is an improved dwelling related to living and working anywhere?), we have to realize that some damages on human health and living environments also have been have also inevitably occurred inevitably. As we known know, the development of the automobile industry has been intensified the consumption of the natural resources and the pollution of the environment. Another notable problem is that people are becoming more and more over dependent on using all types of digital devices. Some researches have has shown that these kinds of products would may generate the new human illnesses and would have the negative effects on some abilities of humans such as problem solving without those products.(Again, here you are being too vague - what is causing what kind of illnesses? solving what problems and what specifically is affecting it?)

Overall, everything has two sides, positive and negative. Therefore, the advanced science and technology give provides us with more convenience and a more comfortable life; meanwhile it also has the negative fallout.  But in my view, the advantages of this should outweigh its disadvantages because development is the only meaning of the existence of mankind (again, what do you mean by this?). The key point should be what we are going to minimize the risks resulted by development and take all outcome of development into consideration on the ground of concept of sustainability.(And again, I don't know what points you are making here)

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FURTHER COMMENTS


Hi Vida,

You have some very good grammar and vocabulary so I have no doubt you are capable of getting a good score, but at the moment your content is letting you down.

Have a look at my comments in your essay - as you can see you are not developing or explaining your ideas enough.

Some of the points you have made are very general, so they would be ok as topic sentences. You would then need to go on and explain what you mean exactly.

But as it is your essay leaves more questions than it answers.

Focus on planning your answer carefully before you write it and make sure all the points you brainstorm are fully answering the question and are explained and supported.

Good luck

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Comments for IELTS Writing Task 2:
Mobility due to improved transport and communication

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Jan 04, 2013
Long essay
by: Eisa

Hi
It is a good essay, but it appears is too long, more than 350 words, I think....

Jan 15, 2015
Is the task question is answered?
by: Anonymous

These days, there are many choices for people to decide where to live or work, all as result of progression in technology and ways of transport. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

On one hand, drawbacks can be divided to social and enviromental. Socially, the increased use of information technology leads to decrease in face to face communications and closness between family members. Studies show increase in mental health problems such as depression. Regarding enviroment, the increased no of private cars and even airline traffic result not only in noise but also air pollution and eventually this will damage our enviroment and ecosystem.

On the other hand, benefits are more wider. First of all, people now have increased chances to choose their career. They can move to other country easily to work and obtain good jobs and qualifications. For example, by using internet they can book a flight and choose the desired airlines all within a matter of minutes. Furthermore, easy transport and communication facilitate exchange of informations and thus not only individuals will get benefits but also countries in general. All this can result in countries development and quality of life.

In conclusion, I would argue that although there social and enviromental drawbacks of developed technology and travel, the benefits are more and have positive impacts on individuals and societies.

Please, is the task answered?
I have problem that my essays are less than 250 words!!

Jan 16, 2015
ielts
by: Anonymous

Your writing is very good... except the world limit..
are u looking for ielts exam in the coming days..
this comment is for the previous anonymous

May 20, 2016
HELPPPPPLLLL😞😞
by: Anonymous

hi! I think that this essay is very difficult to be answered. That's why I need help from you guys I want an essay on how the world has been affected from the worldwide transportation

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