Problems of the Internet Essay

by Katy

Hi, I have given IELTS 4 times and I need 7 each in academic. My latest score was:

R 8.5
L 8
S 7.5
W 6.5

In all my attempts, I have not been able to get 7 in writing. Here is an example of an essay I wrote, could you please advise how I can improve?

Besides a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In today’s world, the Internet has become extremely popular. Some people believe, it is beneficial for several reasons while many argue that the disadvantages associated with it cannot be overlooked. I completely agree with the latter part.

On one hand, some people believe that the Internet has been advantageous for many reasons. First of all, it helps communicate with people all over the world. The use of emails, social networking sites and video chatting has enables people to easily and quickly talk to their loved ones even from a far distance. Another benefit to be considered is that it is cheaper than sending mails via post. Furthermore, internet makes it convenient to pay the bills online and saves time as well, so people do not have to go personally to pay the bills.

On the other hand, some people argue that the Internet has many disadvantages. For instance, the younger generation spends a lot of time in front of computer or on their phones which is harmful for their health as it affects their eyesight and also makes them physically inactive. In addition, inappropriate contents on the Internet like violence and obscenity negatively impacts on young people. Furthermore, the increasing number of cyber-crimes is taking place these days. More and more financial crimes are committed via the internet. Another problem the Internet creates is that overuse of it tends to make people isolated as they become unsociable and self-centred.

In my opinion, the disadvantages of the Internet outweigh the advantages, hence, making it harmful to the growth of the youth. Therefore, its consumption should be reduced and people should be protected from the negative effects of internet.

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Aug 08, 2016
essay writing
by: bindia Agarwal

Who so ever is concerned,

It is important to have habit of checking your answer after completion, otherwise no matter how good you have written, your mistakes will drain your marks and at the end you will be lingering with poor scores in writing.

Aug 14, 2016
my reaction
by: Anonymous

You must be partly with the question. You stated that you completely agree therefore you should only discuss the negative effects all through out your body paragraphs. I guess you get 7 in majority of the ielts writing criteria except task responce which is 6.5.

Aug 15, 2016
my reaction
by: IELTS buddy

Actually that is not true,

Even if you completely agree / disagree with the opinion, you can still look at the other view.

You need to word it carefully though to make sure you show that you are just pointing out that there is another side to it and which side you are on.

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