Task 1 Bar Chart: Reasons for Studying and Levels of Support

by Tahir
(Patel)

The bar charts illustrate the reasons why students study and the level of support they get from their employer.

The bar charts illustrate the reasons why students study and the level of support they get from their employer.

The first chart gives information about the purpose for study among various age group students,while the second chart shows help given by employers to them.


It is clear that younger students(under 26) study for their career,whereas those over 49 study for just interest.Employers provide supports mainly to under 26 age group.

Four out of the five students get education to develop their career in age group under 26.These numbers decrease as age groups increase.Just under 20 percent of students with age over 49 study for career.By contrast,the number of students study for interest are highest for those with age over 49,whereas lowest for under 26 year olds.

The employers give more support to under 26 group.The age group 30-39 gets lowest support but the age group 26-29,40-49 and over 49 get better amount of support then age group 30-39.

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IELTS buddy
Feedback:


First some comments:-

"It is clear that younger students(under 26) study for their career,whereas those over 49 study for just interest.Employers provide supports mainly to under 26 age group."

This is ok, but you should try to be more accurate. If you look at the graph, actually age 30-39 study for career as well, and age 40-49 is equal.

You would be better to make it more general - e.g.

"It is clear that younger students generally study for their career, whereas those over 49 study for just interest, and employers provide supports mainly to under 26 age group."

“Four out of the five students” – I don’t get this. Don’t you mean 80%?

“By contrast,the number of students study for interest are highest for those with age over 49,whereas lowest for under 26 year olds.”

You are repeating yourself in this last part – “whereas....year olds”. You said about 26 years olds in the sentence before:

"Just under 20 percent of students with age over 49 study for career"

Refer to the Data

Make sure you make reference to the data (percentages) on the left. You don’t have to do this all the time, but you must make reference to it at some points so we know what you are comparing with what.

You don’t mention it at all in you last paragraph about the ‘employer help’ graph, and minimally in the first one.

The IELTS scoring specifically states that the student must mention the data.

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Grammar corrected version:

The first chart gives information about the purpose for study among various age groups of students, while the second chart shows help given by employers to them.

It is clear that younger students (under 26) study for their career, whereas those over 49 study for just interest. Employers provide support mainly to the under 26 age group.

80 per cent of the students get education to develop their career in the under 26 age group. These numbers decrease as age groups increase. Just under 20 percent of students aged over 49 study for their career. By contrast, the number of students studying for interest are highest for those aged over 49, whereas it is lowest for under 26 year olds.

The employers give more support to the under 26 group. The age group 30-39 gets lowest support but the age groups 26-29, 40-49 and over 49 get a better amount of support than the 30-39 age group.

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Overall, it’s a fairly good answer as you pick out all the key information without going into too much detail, and you seem to cover everything in the graph.

You don’t have many grammar errors either.

And you divided the information up into two body paragraphs which is good.

You also have an overview that gives the main points of both graphs and a good introductory sentence

To improve:

You make some reference to the data on the left, but not enough.

Your answer is actually too short (about 140 words I think) which will lose you some score.

Also, you should try to make more use of ‘complex sentences' as the examiner will be looking for this. You do use ‘while’ and ‘whereas’ but you should try to have a few more.

But this depends what band you want. If its only a ‘6’, then you don’t need much more than you have, but you will still need a variety (see the public band descriptors).

Have a look at some of the task 1 sample / model answers written on this site and see how complex sentences have been put in. Don’t try to put lots in for the sake of it, especially ones you are not sure how to use, as this may end up lowering your score if you make lots of mistakes.

But try to practice how you can add some others (e.g. relative clauses).

Hope that helps

Comments for Task 1 Bar Chart: Reasons for Studying and Levels of Support

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Jan 25, 2012
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THANKS FOR CORRECTION
by: Anonymous

Thank you very much for correction.

I will post task-2 as well.
My last score was 8 for writing module but I coulndt clear IELTS as I missed by 0.5(Speaking module-6.5).I am confident that I will get 7 in speaking next time but writing part make me nervous.
I dont know how I got 8 bands in writing but I am thinking I am between 6.5 and 7.Thats my view.Speaking and Writing are subjective part so its on luck as well.
I want to clear in anycase next time because I have wasted many months in my life.

Thanks again
With Regards

Apr 12, 2014
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Please HELP! Trying to suit all the important point teacher mentioned
by: armstrong

The bar chart represent the percentage of students who get the support from their employer and the percentage of students who study for the reason of career or interest, in which both are divided into different age groups.

According to the first bar chart, we can see that, for the under 26 age group, 26-29 age group, there is a downward trend in the level of support from employer to students, which are 63%, 50% and 33%.
From what we see from the second bar chart, students , generally, study for career and the percentage of this reason start from 80%, 70% to 57%. Employer are more willing to support students who study for the reason of career within these three groups.

The students which are over 49 years old have a higher level of support, which is 45%, than the students from the bracket of 40-49, which is 37%, followed by the bracket of 30-39. Also we can see that there is a increasing percentage of students studying for interest in all ages.In conclusion, employer has a different viewpoint regarding supporting the older employee, which is depending on their work experience.

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