Task 1 General Training:
Semi-Formal Letter
Request to Employer

by katisss
(USA)

Semiformal letter:


You are working in a company. You would like to join a training course related to your work. Write a letter to your employer, in your letter

- describe what course you would like to do
- how this course might help in your work
- suggest a suitable time for you to do this course.




Dear Mr. Jones,

I am writing to you to ask your permission to attend a Spanish class on Thursday evenings.

Over the last few months we have seen an astonishing increase in the number of Spanish speaking customers at “Jones Camera Shop”. While I do speak some Spanish, I have not practised a lot in the past few years and I am clearly lacking some technical terms.

I have already discussed taking up lessons with my manager, Mr. Kent, and he agreed it would benefit our customer service, Certainly though he wants me to ask your permission before enrolling.

The most suitable class nearby takes place on Thursdays from 5.30 pm, which would require me to leave the shop at around 5 pm until the end of April.

All in all I hope you will agree that taking the class will help us to provide better assistance to our customers. I look forward to hearing from you regarding your decision at your earliest convenience.

Yours Sincerely,

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IELTS buddy
Feedback


I have put the corrections in the one above. Just a few minor points about it:

Complex Sentences – Adverbial Clauses

Remember with adverbial clauses, you must put a comma after the dependent clause if you start the sentence with it:

While I do speak some Spanish, (comma here) I have not practised a lot in the past few years and I am clearly lacking some technical terms.

Some other points:

All in all = don’t use this to end a letter. This is used for conclusions (or concluding sentences) in essays. You don’t really need to have anything here in a letter.

Certainly = This does not work where you have put it. It means ‘definitely’.



Comments for Task 1 General Training:
Semi-Formal Letter
Request to Employer

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Mar 24, 2013
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by: Anonymous

good essay

Aug 14, 2014
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Introducing yourself
by: DKG

Hi,

Thanks for your comments and corrections. They are very helpful to aspiring candidates.

I have a doubt which thought of raising here. In this case, an employee is writing to his employer, without really introducing himself/herself upfront.

Employer wouldn't really know who is the requester, perhaps, until he finished reading the complete letter.

Would it not be better if letter starts with introducing the writer something like "This is David, a clerk in your beach shop.."?

Looking forward to your seeing your recommendation,
DKG

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