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Aug 01, 2014
Dangers of modern technology essay
by: IELTS buudy

Hi,

Just some quick comments:

How long did it take? You should do it in 40 minutes but it seems quite long.

You need to focus on giving simple and clear ideas that answer the question. In your paragraph about the dangers - you don't really explain what any dangers actually are.

You explain how it can be dangerous because information can be exchanged quickly, but this is just repeating what the question says. You need to give some concrete examples of the dangers.

The one explanation you do give is not clear:

"...if wrong data is organized for a wrong purpose, leading to an increase in in misunderstanding which may effect behavior, a decision or an outcome?"

This just throws up more questions - what will be misunderstood? How will behaviour be affected? What decisions and outcomes?

Thanks

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