Arts Essays

by Mepa

A waste of money?

A waste of money?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?



Art is considered to be the main core of the country’s civilization and heritage. However, this type of science could attract people all over the world, so the governments have paid much more money on it rather than the significant daily services for the general population. In my point of view, government should cover all essential services financially then they could pay attentions to other entertained arts and theaters.

There are reasonable factors of why general services have taken the first priority by the government. First of all, Offering the best, high technological services for a normal citizen support him to work efficiently and rapidly. Secondly, once these governments seek to comfort their people by covering all their obvious requirements, the citizen would definitely aim to put his effort and behave to serve this country. Therefore, exchanging the benefits between the citizens and government is the significant advantage from the investing money on general services.

Some people have claimed that art and theater deserve much money more than general public services for two points. Although art field expresses as type of entertainment, a great deal of people extremely enjoys of being in front of the most popular singer, for instance Celindion, listen to her fascinated songs they love. Eventually, this might be for them one of the main necessity of their lives, especially in the leisure times.

Whatever was the need for the art and artists, I think the money should go for serving the human needs due to having better world and comfortable environments. I believe that singers and actors can work in places where the general people are fairly have served by governments. Hopefully, no more complaining about this issue anymore; otherwise crimes might be started in these countries.

***


Can any one correct my essay essay on arts and what my score will be if I wrote like this essay and what are my weak points?

Comments for Arts Essays

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 30, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Essay on Arts
by: IELTS buddy

It is a bit confusing. You have said in your introduction that the government spends more on art (and how do you know this is true anyway?):

so the governments have paid much more money on it rather than the significant daily services for the general population.

Then in the first body you have said they spend more on services:

There are reasonable factors of why general services have taken the first priority by the government.

This is confusing and affects your coherency. You need to be careful with your language and make sure your arguments / opinions are consistent.

And your conclusion is confusing. I don't understand what you are saying in the first sentence (a grammar issue I think) and for the second sentence, why would people complaining about it lead to crime? And how is this connected to the essay?

I believe that singers and actors can work in places where the general people are fairly have served by governments. Hopefully, no more complaining about this issue anymore; otherwise crimes might be started in these countries.

I would shorten your introduction and conclusion and provide more support to your body paragraphs.

Your introduction is in fact longer than your second body paragraph. This should not be the case.

Dec 01, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Question for you
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your correction, and I will start to work on my weaknesses then I will submit another essay

For the introduction, you have asked how do I know if the government pays much more money on Arts more than the public services?

because it says in the question that governments invest on art such as music and theatre and it is waste of money, and they should invest on public services

Can you explain to me more what is your point in the introduction ?

Dec 02, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Essay on Arts - 2nd Draft
by: Mepa

Governments these days have wasted money through the investment in art like music and theatre. Whereas, it has been argued that investing money on public service projects is much more essential. In my viewpoint, governments should pay attention to invest on public service rather than the arts due to grant the convenience and safeness for each citizen.

Convenience should be offered by the government in public services for two critical point. First of all, a great deal of people requires to be served in different locations for instance at hospital, in transportations and schools. These places have to be full of high-technological materials that support a resident to acquire his needs rapidly and comfortably. The excellent example for this case is Cinemas in Dubai. Because there have been tremendous number of tourists each year who have came to watch the latest movies there, Dubai’s government has invested the money on improving tickets’ machine systems. By this way, they avoid the crowding among the visitors when they buy their tickets, and they make this zone much more organized. Secondly, in order to comfort the resident in public services, professional workers might be very supportive in these services. They could answer questions, fix the technological machines and develop devices there.

Government must offer the greatest level of safeness for residents by investing their money on it. Although some local governments believe that spreading the police officers everywhere in the city is the best way of protecting people, it could be extremely easy for many criminals to behave badly against innocent people. Therefore, buying electronic devices in order to secure people in malls, buses and universities from any criminal and accidental action becomes necessary todays. For instance, putting technological cameras in each room of the public institution would stop worse individuals to act negatively against employees or customers.

To conclude, after this argument the governments should look forwards citizen’s needs in first place as public service investments for making his life highly convenient and safe. Then they are able to invest some projects of plenty type of arts for satisfying all individuals in a certain city.






Dec 05, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Essay on Arts (first draft)
by: IELTS buddy

Hi Mapa,

It doesn't say in the question that the government pays much more money on Arts than the public services.

It just says that money spent on it is a waste.

So it looks like it is YOUR opinion that more is spent on the arts (even though you may not have meant this). But then it looks as if you contradict this opinion in your first body paragraph as you say the government's top priority is government services.

Dec 05, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Thanks
by: Mepa

Thanks a lot . Now, I understand what you mean.
I know I handle you a lot of working, but if you check my 2nd draft, I will be really grateful

Dec 05, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Essay on Arts - 2nd Draft
by: IELTS buddy

Hi,

It is an improvement on the first essay as you are clearly making more effort to develop your arguments and support them.

And despite grammar issues, it is not too bad and you have some good vocabulary in there.

But the introduction is still confusing. You have given opinions all the way through it. You should start with FACTS then your thesis is an OPINION.

And you are not using 'whereas' properly, which confuses it quite a lot. It does not fit there.

I did get confused a bit when I read your first paragraph. As I said, you are providing good support, but your example was about the arts (cinemas). This was a bit confusing as you are supporting public services. A different example that is clearly public services (not Arts) would be better.

Make sure you use transitions. You should start the second body paragraph with, for example, 'In addition'. This makes it clear it is another idea in support, and not opposing.

And your second body paragraph is a bit difficult to follow. It is not clear why you start talking about electronic devices.

You have said police need money, so you should just explain the advantages of having a well-funded police force (e.g. we would have lower crime levels, people's quality of life would then be better).

Your example is a bit abstract. You may be trying to be over-complex.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.

Spending on Theatres and Museums or Medical Care and Education

by Jordan

Some people think that the government should not put money into building theatres and museums, but spend more money on medical care and education.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In recent years, the question of whether the government should allocate more money to the construction of theatres and museums or the development of medical care and education has become controversial. Some people suggest that the construction of theatres and museums needs to be given priority. However, I advocate putting more money into medical care and education. There are several reasons to support my view.

First, medical care and education are the basic needs of the general public. The opportunity of receiving medical care and education is indispensable to members of a modern society. Human beings get sick, so they need to receive medical care. Human beings need to learn in order to make a livelihood, so they need to be educated. Their needs of receiving medical care and education are thus related to the nature of human beings, which is an inflexible demand. In addition, satisfying people’s basic needs is an imperative for accountable governments. If a government cannot deliver fundamental medical care and education to the public, it will inevitably discredit its people whom it governs. As a result, the legitimacy of the government gradually declines, costing the whole society stability and solidarity.

However, the view of those who suggest putting more public funds into building more theatres and museums are understandable. They care more about the cultivation of people’s sense of art and culture. But I need to point out that these are not basic needs of people, lessening the necessity of such a suggestion.

In conclusion, the need of putting more public funds into medical care and education overwhelms that of allocating more public funds to the construction of theatres and museums.

(276 words)

***

To help this student improve their score or simply tell them what you think about the essay on spending on theatres and museums or medical care and education, you can post comments below.

Click here to post comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.

Studying Art and Music in School

by melodi beyaz
(Turkey/İstanbul)

All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?


There is an argument that students should be required to study arts and music. I completely agree with this statement for two reasons. Arts and music helps students to be more creative and also it helps students to relax their busy schedule.

First of all, arts and music help people to be creative. In secondary school, student have more tendency to learn new things. If they receive arts and music education they will not only become more creative but also, possibly develop interest in this relevant area. Even, if they don't like arts and music, they will learn to evaluate problems from a different angle.

Secondly, nowadays all students are very busy and they need relaxation. Good music can help students to relax and forget about their problems. They always work hard for their lessons so they have to be relax in during school day It is true that maths, science and history are very important lessons but they can be too hard for them in a they therefore there needs to be arts and music.

In conclusion, every family wants their children become to be a doctor or an engineer but they never think about their abilities. Ideally, they need to start learning art and music in secondary school for finding their tendency.

***


What are your thoughts on this Essay on Studying Art and Music in Secondary School?

How can it be improved?

You can leave your comments below in order to help this student improve their IELTS score.

Comments for Studying Art and Music in School

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 28, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Should Secondary School Students learn Arts and Music?
by: Dang Thanh Hai

To my way of thinking, this essay is well structured. However, there are not enough academic words relating to Arts and Music.

Added to this, there is a sentence in the second paragraph which needs correcting. It can be written like this:

"Although Maths, science and History are important subjects, not all students are good at these. Therefore, Arts and Music give students more choices.

Furthermore, these two subjects are likely to help students reduce tiredness after studying other subjects."

Click here to add your own comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.

Government Investment in the Arts Essay

by Tom hank
(Georgetown, penang, malaysia)


Hi Guys,

I am attending the IELTS test in this coming September '15. Can anyone out there share me your comments of below drafted essay? Thanks in advance.



***


Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people aware that arts have been existed since the ancient time. Even in today’s modern world, arts are still part of the important culture in the society in most of the countries. To discuss whether the government should divert their investment. I would like to share my opinions of this topic.

Firstly, I believe most of people agreed that the music and theatre have formed part of necessary entertainment in recent society. Especially we can see the cinemas are mushrooming in most of the shopping center within the cities. Bistro, pub and disco are also have become increasingly popular and is open everywhere. For instant, the government has taken one of street in the Kuala Lumpur city and convert to the entertainment hub which known as Bintang Walk. With this significant trend, it is an indication that most of the people have chosen to relax themselves physically and psychologically to release the working stress by enjoying the music and dancing. And even some of the businessmen use it as a meeting spot for business opportunities.

Whereas, the public services such as transportation, infrastructure, hospital and school are part of parcel of the responsibility as a government to develop especially the region has entered into the category of Developing Country. That is mean with or without discussing the investment in arts, it is a government mandatory investment in order to bring conveniences and benefits to the people who are living in the country. In addition, it also help to lift up the living standard and the country reputation as a whole.

In conclusion, I would opine that the government should financially support and encourage the private sectors to continue this significant trend in the city. The government should at the same time to promote the country traditional arts such as tribe’s music and dancing to the outside world as what most of the countries does.

Click here to post comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.

Arts or Public Services

by lin
(china)

IELTS buddies please make a comment on my following essay that i chose the topic from model essays. my essay words is more than 300 and i want to reduce to around 280, but it is hard for me to change it. i follow the structure from buddy's ebook.

here is my essay below


Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?


These days, governments spend a large part of the budget on public services and the arts. While I agree that it is important to provide funding to public services, I do not believe that money spent on the arts is a waste.

The obvious benefit of supporting public services is to ensure that general public would have a reasonable quality of life. For example, increasing funding on public hospitals would allow citizens to access necessary medical treatments without worrying about expensive medical costs and this in turn can provide citizens with a sense of security. Apart from the medical benefit, education is thought to be another advantage that bring by government support. Increase the money on education means that schools are able to expand teaching resources together with reducing school fees. As a result, families with financial disadvantage are more likely to afford school fees, which allow everyone to access education with equal opportunity.

Nevertheless, I believe that it is not a waste of money for governments to expand funding on the arts. To begin with, national museums and art galleries can serve as a dedicated area for visitors to take their first step towards learning. As these places usually organize interactive exhibits and special activities that encourage learning through play, it can tap on people’s creativity. In addition, citizens can experience the entire transformation of their countries and cities, as pictures and video resources are kept in museums. Take city of Shanghai as an example, local residents feel proud of their city’s rapid developments and remarkable achievements through watching documentary film, as they realize that their city used to be just a small fish village. There is no doubt that art galleries and museums have changed people’s perception in many ways and this would not have been possible without government funding.

In conclusion, it seems to me that government funding on the arts and public services are both necessary.

Comments for Arts or Public Services

Average Rating starstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 01, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstar
IELTS
by: Rozha

Art is inherent value of culture,it has symbiotic relationship with education,it is economic power for society.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.

Investing in the Arts or Public Services

by Helen Nguyen
(Cassino, Frosinone, Italy)

Hi everyone,

I'm very happy that I found this forum of Ielts buddy. I'm practicing for Ielts writing especially task 2. However, I did get a lot of troubles when I'm self-study because there is no one helping me to evaluate and correct my work. I really hope that I can post my essay here and have someone read and corrected it for me. I very appreciate the help from you guys and I'm welcome all your comments. This is the latest topic that I have written.


***

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In the recent years, some artistic sectors such as musics, theaters have received a significant amount of financial support from the government. Although many people assert that the governmental budget should place more on other public sectors, it is believed that the fields of art are also necessarily to be invested.

Firstly, since the demand in fundamental pubis sectors is extremely crucial, the investment from the government is out of question. These services could be hospitals, schools, road systems which are critically essential to the needs of society. For instance, if the governmental institution did not spend more money on medical research to find new treatments for different diseases, people would not avoid the risk of facing with the early death. In addition, the more developed one country is, the more money spent advancing infrastructure of these sectors is required to enhance living standard.

In contrast, the area of art should not be neglected because of these following reasons. First and foremost, some research has shown that the emotional life and mental health of a person increasingly become more important. It is undeniable that musics, movies, and many other artistic areas are efficient tools of entertaining and relieving people from pain. Furthermore, there exists a growing tendency of creative and aesthetic people who are very passionate about arts; however, some established unions and private organizations are not wealthy enough to support them. Therefore, these people truly need a huge investment from governmental side to meet the increase demand of a spirited and pleasurable community.

To conclude, even though I do support that such primary public sectors should be invested seriously, I do not agree with the inattention to the fields of art because they keep balancing the welfare of the society.

Click here to post comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.

Funding for Musicians, Painters and Poets

by dev
(Philippines)


Should the government continue to fund various kinds of arts like musicians, painters and poets or not anymore?

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


Some people are of the view that the government should support artist such as, musicians, painters and poets through funding, but others disagree with this view. I strongly agree with the former argument because of several reasons.

For those who believe that officials should no longer contribute any money as a means of support, it can be said that the leaders must focus deeply on major problems in the country, rather than focusing on the improvement in arts and entertainment. For instance, in my country Philippines, it is not practical and necessary for the government to allocate funds for artists because poverty is widely seen around the community. Thus, the priority in providing food, clothing and shelter for the marginalized group is the best option in spending funds.

On the other hand, I believe that artists should be supported financially by the government because it is one way where the country can gain profit through the tourism industry. It is undeniably true that, artists have a great contribution in promoting national history and culture through their unique and creative works. Without improvement in this area, it is most likely that less people will become interested in exploring different talents of the locals and thus, individuals from other nation having a tour would not understand clearly the country's antiquity.

In my experience, traveling in different places makes it more meaningful and exciting when I have come to learn the history and a chance to interact with other individual having different beliefs and I believe, this can be achieved through arts and entertainment.

The conclusion of the matter is that, artists need support from the government to grow and to help attract more foreigners to visit the place and as a result, the community can save money which can be used for the improvement of the country as a whole.

____________________________________________________

Please provide feedback on my essay about governments continuing to fund various kinds of arts like musicians, painters and poets

Click here to post comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.

Tax Payer's Money Spent on the Arts

by Zeki
(İstanbul)

In many countries, government sponsorship of the arts costs millions in taxpayers money. There are many more important things to spend Money on.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Some people want to buy original art, hence they peaces can be enormously expensive. Also, governments support this trade because the government will take tax from each trade, but there are many essential things to spend money.

Nowadays, some well-known people are buying a picture made by DA Vinci and they are paying lots of money. For example, recently, someone took the picture and paid about 10 million dollars. As we known, governments will take %15 tax for this trade from the trader. This price is more expensive than many things. This case must be controlled and under the control of governments. For example, that half of money could save many lives or could build a school for poor children.

Also, government, earning money from this trade, under called name is taxable. Governments are supporting because they need money and they need the tax. For this reason government can be sponsorship of the arts trade. Many people are expecting service from the governments and they know need money for service, but that enormous amount of money can be spent more beneficial organizations.

To sum up, I have never supported this case and I think, this must be under the control of government. Maybe create a fund and transport the specific percent of trade amount to fund and maybe that money can use for beneficial, for example build a school or help to the Africa's children.

***


Help this student to improve their score by commenting below on the essay on Tax Payer's Money Spent on the Arts.

Comments for Tax Payer's Money Spent on the Arts

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 20, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Sponsorship of the Arts
by: IELTS buddy

Hi Zeki,

You have misunderstood the question.

It is not about the tax that the government receives when someone buys a piece of art.

It is about whether the general taxes that the population pays is wasted when the government uses is it to spend on the arts and whether it would be better spent elsewhere.

Aug 21, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Thank you
by: Zeki

Thank you for your assesment. I realize my essay different from main topic. So, are there any gramatical mistakes? It's more important than misunderstanding the topic.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.

Foreign Films versus Locally Produced Films

by Fahad

Please Evaluate and point out error and mistakes.

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films.

Why could this be?

Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?


Film industry flourished dramatically over the last few years. Technological advancements have made a big contribution in the success of this industry. Countries such as India, USA etc. are highly dependent on this industry. Their governments are financially supporting to achieve better and long lasting result. They are in the process of sticking people to watch their own locally produced movies.

There are several reasons of shift in term of watching movies. Nowadays, people are smarter; they do not want to waste their time and money for an ordinary movie. They want quality movie, which has big cast, good camera work, full of emotions and suspense. In addition to this, they want something new and unique. This is why they are pursuing towards foreign films.

Lack of funds is one of the vital reason in competing other movie industries. People are reluctant to work in local films because they have been paid very less. These people try to find their career in other countries because of high income and appreciation. Government should support their local film industry in order to equip with latest technology such as cameras, software and trainings. The good work of celebrities should be acknowledge and awarded by the government, this will encourage good people to join and serve for this industry.

In conclusion, I would to say that with mutual support of government and people, will definitely help local film industry to grow immensely. This will later turn as fruitful tree for our economy.

Comments for Foreign Films versus Locally Produced Films

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 27, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
According to IELTS minimum length should be 250.
by: Anonymous

According to IELTS minimum length should be 250.

Please point mistakes as well.

Aug 30, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Please point out errors
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your comments, please also point out errors, so that i can improve my writing skills.

Oct 14, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Introduction
by: Anonymous

I felt that the introduction is a bit too long.

Oct 30, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Essay on Foreign Films versus Locally Produced Films
by: Anonymous

Nice post.

Nov 27, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
comments
by: Anonymous

u rly hv good command of z language. but ur introduction is too long and of course trivial for z topic. u can only do 2 things: state z title given after paraphrasing it and put the thesis statement(i.e. what u r going to write abt).

Click here to add your own comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.