Task 2 Writing: Dependence on Computers

by Lenur Toshpulatov
(Termiz, Surkhandarya, Uzbekistan)

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills.


Do you agree or disagree?


There is no doubt that almost every field has developed significantly over the past few decades and it is visiable in the field of education. At present time, modern technology has became in our system of study. In many countries students can use computers in their classrooms and they have no to copy notes by hand in the blackboard, because the teacher gives them a photocopy. As a result, both teachers and students are losing their ability to think by themselves.

First of all, many young students are using computers in their classroom at the same time they are becoming little lazy and and their ability such as, mathematical. Because, students easily can calculate mathematical questions.

On the other hand, before thinking about drawbacks of the computers people should more pay attention to advantages of computer for people. Computer have disadvantages as well as more benefits. One of the main good point is students can acces to the internet than other communication systems.

Secondly, no one can deny that internet has opened students way of learning a new world. It is clearly seen that students have to wait for a book that alredy been booked by other students. In fact, students can be used easily to the internet to find more information and also for research .

Thirdly, as many people have claimed that, how effects of computer good or bad it depends to how people use computers beneficial or futile. For instance, computers can be used to rob banks with way of hacking or can be used to make people’s life quite faster, easier and also more comfortable.

From my point of view, as it has written above that teachers should avoid using computers in the classroom at the same time they should have more social and emotional knowledge.

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Corrected Version:

There is no doubt that almost every field has developed significantly over the past few decades and it is visiable visible in the field of education. At the present time, modern technology has became exists in our system of study. In many countries students can use computers in their classrooms and they do not have no to copy notes by hand in from the blackboard because the teacher gives them a photocopy. As a result, both teachers and students are losing their ability to think by themselves.

First of all, many young students are using computers in their classroom and at the same time they are becoming little lazy. For example, their ability to do well in subjects such as maths is declining because they can easily calculate maths on a computer. (I'm just guessing what you mean here - your ideas in this paragraph are very unclear).

On the other hand, before thinking about the drawbacks of the computers people should more pay attention to their advantages of computer for people. Computers have disadvantages as well as more benefits.(I've deleted this as you are repeating yourself). One of the main good point benefits is students can acces to the internet (than other communication systems - I don't understand how this fits here)

Secondly, no one can deny that the internet has opened students way of learning to a new world. It is clearly seen that students do not have to wait for a book that has already been booked by other students. In fact, students can be used easily to use the internet to find more information and also for do research .

Thirdly, as many people have claimed that, how effects of computer good or bad it depends to how people use computers beneficial or futile.(I can't really correct this as I'm not sure what you mean - the grammar errors make it very confusing) For instance, computers can be used to rob banks with way of by hacking or can be used to make people’s life quite faster, easier and also more comfortable.(the question is about education so you are going off topic if you talk about robbing banks and hacking)

From my point of view, as it has written stated above, that teachers should avoid using computers in the classroom and at the same time they should have more social and emotional knowledge.(don't put new ideas in a conclusion - you have not mentioned this 'social and emotional knowledge' before)

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FURTHER COMMENTS


You have some very short paragraphs - have a look at some of the sample essays on the ieltsbuddy site to get more of an idea how to organize your writing:

Model Essays


Your writing is also very mixed - you have some parts that are ok, but at times your writing is very confusing. You would benefit from some teaching with regards to improving your writing which you can't really gain from the internet.

For example, you have some very confusing sentences where it is not clear what you mean:

Thirdly, as many people have claimed that, how effects of computer good or bad it depends to how people use computers beneficial or futile.

One of the main good point is students can acces to the internet  than other communication systems.

Things like that will really affect your band score.

At the present time = we use present simple with this so you can't say "has beome"

"Because, students easily can calculate mathematical questions".= don't do this as it is a "fragment" i.e. not a complete sentence. 'because' joins clauses. I will do a lesson on this but do a search on the internet on this if you wan't to find out more.


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Comments for Task 2 Writing: Dependence on Computers

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Mar 28, 2012
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Thank you.
by: Lenur

i wanna get feedback about my mistakes. thank you in advance for your advice.

Jun 23, 2013
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Essay
by: Anonymous

Hi I would like someone to correct my essay and to mark this please :)

The new generation of children have computers and they become dependent since they are young. It has a consequence on reading and writing skills that is why professors should teach without computers.

First, I think using Internet has good avantages, the student can research easily a meaning on Google for example. Futhermore, the computer is useful, it will faster to search on internet than using a dictionnary. By the way, the children can save their work on Word or Excel and put in a USB Disk or share it to other students. Then, using less paper can be good for the environnement, this can save a lot of trees.

However, the computers have a bad influence on students with the video games : if they start to play since they are young, they will be dependent. And this will bring some damages on their eyes, they will have to wear glasses. It is hard for the teachers to look at all the students if they are not on Facebook or anything, they can’t be focused on their teaching. Students will always wirte on Word and it will correct the mistakes so it is not a good idea for their writing. Finally, it is less expensive to teach basic study because it costs a lot to buy a computer for each student.

To conclude, in my opinion, students should use computers but only in particular academic. It will be perfect if students can stay focus on studies altough they want to go on Facebook and play video games.

Sep 16, 2014
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School children and computers
by: Anonymous

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills.

Do you agree or disagree?


Technology has significant impact on education since last two decades. Since that time, children are more interested to familiarise themselves to learn on computers rather than learning in classroom, which in result making them dependent on computers and losing basic study skills. Nevertheless, computers have pros and cons on children education like a coin has its two sides. In the following paragraph I am going to discuss the negative points of computers on education.

To begin with, using computers in classroom is deteriorating reading and writing skills of students. This devastating impact has led students to even forget the spellings. Moreover teachers even use technology to provide lessons in classroom which often distract students from the topic by getting fascinated with technology. In past years, teachers use writing boards to give lectures and students use notepad to write notes in order to remind the lectures but these days teachers comes with a photocopy of notes for each students, which effect their capability of reminding topics and writing skills.

However, this technology has many advantages. Firstly, students can read books online if they cannot get from other sources like libraries, schools. They can increase their knowledge on particular topic by searching on google and will not restrict to their classroom. In addition, students can even downloads lectures if they missed it by any chance and this will keep them on track.

Furthermore, students can even accurate their basic writng techniques as computer has the ability to correct the misspelled words and also the sentence structure. By giving photocopy notes, teachers can as well provide lectures on time as they don't have to dictate their notes for students.

In the nutshell, students and teachers should use computers but to a limit. If they exceed their limit it will definitely ruin students skill.
Although the computers in education sector has disadvantages but the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. I partially agree with this statement.

Jun 02, 2015
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is there any notes on this introduction?
by: Anonymous

In the last two decades, the education systems has became more and more rely on computers and programs for teaching the school children which lead to dangerous effects on their reading and writing skills (RW.S). Therefore, this essay will be concentrated on the benefits of avoiding computers by teachers especially in the elementary schools to improve the (RW.S).

Aug 10, 2016
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Effects of computers on reading and writing skills
by: Anonymous

Computers have become the integral part of education but have some disadvantages regarding reading and writing skills.

These are:

Disability to write and learn correct words.
Poor writing speed and mistakes.
Ignorance of correct and wrong Spellings.
Unaware of irrevent material.
Poor habit of printed notes rather than writing by own using own ideas.


Aug 17, 2016
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Very useful
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the essay and feedback.

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