IELTS Line Graph - Proportion of Elderly
The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Hello everyone, please check out my essay. Friends check the coherence and cohesion, structure of the essay. Thanks a lot.***
The bar chart shows some information on the population aged 65 and over in the UK. The data are available for 1985 and there is a projection for 2035.
As an overall trend, the proportion of people aged 65 and over will be by far higher in 2035 than in 1985. In 1985 the aging population has the largest percent of just over 15% in Wales. While the share of Northern Ireland is less by about fifth and is around 12% which is the smallest for the same year. By the year 2035, Wales will have the largest share in the aging population again, and it will exceed its own figure for the year 1985 by about two-thirds coming up to over 25%.
It is interesting to note that England and Northern Ireland will have the same shares of about 23% in 2035 whereas back in 1985 their portions significantly are not the same.
The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Generally, there is an increase for all three graphs to represent an the population of old people-65 and more years-old in three countries- USA, Sweden and Japan from 1940 to 2040.
All years are divided into five terms year. In the first term (1940), USA took the first place, in approximately 8%, then followed by Sweden in between 5% until 6%. The last rank is taken by Japan with 5% value.The rank position did not change until in the middle term (2020). Sweden, will rise dramatically at 20%, USA will follow which decrease gradually at about 14%. The last place still hold Japan at 8%. In the end of term, Japan will make steep inclination slope and reach first place at over 25%, Sweden will be the runner up at 25% and USA will be the last at about 23%.
Overall, Each country has inclination trend-line, with Sweden mostly placed the second level, USA and Japan exchange place from the first to the last term.
by Rita Yem (Puma_andev)
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.
You should write at least 150 words.
The graph outlines the comparison in the amount of ageing people in Japan, Sweden, and the USA. In general, it reveals that the percentage of elderly people is anticipated to soar to almost 25% by the year 2040.
In 1940 the figures of all three countries were negligible as compared with their results in 2040, only 5% in Japan, just about 7% in Sweden, and 9% in the US. As we can observe the proportion of ageing population slightly enhanced in Sweden and the US, making up 15% by the year 1980. By comparison, Japan’s figures somewhat deteriorated, maintaining 3% from 1960 to 1985 before rising again to 5% in 2000’s.
The graph suggests that amount of older people will almost certainly increase in next three decades in the three countries. The most drastic progress is expected in Japan between 2030 and 2040, by which time all three countries will reach similar highs.
outlines the comparison in compares the amount percentage of ageing elderly people in Japan, Sweden, and the USA. In general, it reveals that the percentage of elderly people is anticipated to soar to almost 25% by the year 2040 to much higher levels than at present.
In 1940 the figures of all three countries were negligible as compared with their results in 2040, at only 5% in Japan,
just about approximately 7% in Sweden, and 9% in the US. As we can observe the proportion of ageing population slightly enhanced increased in Sweden and the US, making up 15% by the year 1980. By comparison, Japan’s figures declined somewhat deteriorated, maintaining 3% from 1960 to 1985 before rising again to 5% in 2000’s.
The graph suggests that the
amount proportion of older people will almost certainly increase in the next three decades in the three countries. The most drastic progress change is expected in Japan between 2030 and 2040, by which time all three countries will reach similar highs.
Overall, it's a good answers, with some good language and good organization. Here is some more specific feedback.
Grouping the Data
It is a good answer as you group the information well - dividing it up into a timeframe of the past and then the future. This makes it easy to follow.
Some good use of grammar as you get the tenses correct - past for the first part of the graph and future for the second part.
It is better not to refer to specific data when you say what is happening generally in the graph, otherwise it will look like, or could be mistaken for, more specific detail.
This is why I changed your second sentence in the introduction.
Amount = for uncountable nouns e.g. oil, water
Ageing people = you can say 'ageing population', but not 'ageing people'. We say 'elderly'.
Enhanced = This means 'to improve' something in terms of beauty or effectiveness. You can't use it to talk about graphs. It does not mean 'increase'.
Deteriorated = This has a particular connotation which is negative i.e. to get worse. But who is to say it is not postive if the number go down? You need to keep your answer factual in this respect.
Progress = Again, this has positive connotations of improvement and can't be used to explain movements of a graph. In any case, it is debatable if a massive increase in the elderly population is 'positive'.
You have some good vocabulary though:
The graph illustrate the comparison between three different countries USA, Sweed, and Japan in elderly. Overall, the proportion of three countries going up from 1940 to 2040.Here you can view a lesson on describing a graph over time.Proportion / Percentage
In 1940 the percentage of ageing in USA was below 10%, while in Japan was 5%, however, Sweed came between them. In the following years the rate of elderly in both USA and Sweed increased dramatically and reached a pick by 15% and just below to nearly 13% respectively. But the rate in Japan decreased slightly over the same period.
Afterword, from the previous time which is from 2000 all mentioned countries expect ;to increase and make a new pick. The figure suggested in the following three decades significant increase in ageing in each three country. Japan will reach the highest percent and scoring a new rate which is more than 25%, and each of USA and Sweed will come behind in different rate.
illustrates the comparison between compares the proportion of elderly people in three different countries, USA, Sweden, and Japan in elderly. Overall, the proportion of elderly citizens in the three countries going up increases from 1940 to 2040.
In 1940, the percentage of ageing people in USA was below 10%, while in Japan it was 5%. However, Sweden came between them. In the following years the
rate proportion of elderly in both USA and Sweden increased dramatically and reached a pick by peak of 15% and just below to nearly 13% respectively. But the rate in Japan decreased slightly over the same period.
the previous time which is from 2000, all mentioned the countries expect to increase and make a new pick peak. The figure suggested In the following three decades there will be a significant increase in ageing in each of the three countries. Japan will reach the highest percent level, and scoring a new rate which is more than 25%, and each of USA and Sweden will come behind in different rate. be below this, at 23% and 25% respectively.
Overall, you describe and compare things appropriately, but you have some problems with your language control.
It appears you are over-complicating things in places because as you can see I have often crossed things out because you have too much.
So try to keep things simpler.
I'd advise you to review some of the language of comparison needed to write line graphs and practice this.
Be careful how you use these:
proportion of three countries = proportion of elderly citizens
percentage of ageing in USA = percentage of ageing people in USA
(Saudi Arabia )
Hi, Can you correct my writing plz?
The line graph demonstrates the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries as in indicated on the x-axis.The y-axis indicated the percent proportion of elderly people .According to the legend proportion of population aged 65 and over is described by the solid line in the three different countries.
In 1940,the percent of USA was under 10% whereas the percent of the elderly in Japan was lowest at 4%, whilst Sweden was in the middle of theme .
The percent of the elderly in these the three countries will changes through 30 years. The percent of the elderly in Japan will rapid at 27%as also USA will 25% respectively whereas Sweden will be under at 23% .
Clearly , the line graph expects that the percent of the elderly in these the three countries will change significantly over 25 years.
by fazal rehman
The graph illustrates the proportion of population aged 65 years or above, between 1940 and 2040 in Japan, Sweden and USA, a period of 100 years. Overall the proportion of aged 65 years or above in Japan increased highly as compared to other two countries. While USA and Sweden move upward,however Japan could not overtook Japan.
Initially, in 1940 the proportion of aged 65 years or above in USA was high among other countries. In a graph it can be seen the proportion increase slightly till 1960 and after sharply increased to 15 % in timescale of 1960 and 1980 and decline gradually then sharply inclined after 2019.
Japan has low number of proportion among two counties.After 1940 it gradually declined and reached to the lowest point in approximately 1982. It slowly inclined till about 2023. sharply shoot up ust after 2023 and reached to the highest point about 28% in 100 year of timescale.
Sweden had about 7% proportion in 1940. it level off 13 % in 40 years.The biggest rise has been between 1995 to 2005.
The line graph illustrates the percentage of elderly population aged 65 and above in three different countries between 1940 and 2040, a period of 10 years. Overall, it can be seen that the percentage of old citizens in the Japan country declined over the year period, whereas in the Sweden and USA population increased and shows similar pattern throughout the year.
In 1940, the proportion of aged population in Japan was the least compare to the other two countries, with an average of five percent, it then shows a period of stability between 1960’s and 1980’s. It can be seen that the proportion of aged citizen gradually increase throughout 2000 and 2020, with a sharply increase in the middle of year 2020 and 2040, with an average of 25%, until it overtook the level of aged population in Sweden and USA and finished just over 25% in 2040.
In sharp contrast to this, the proportion of aged population in Sweden and USA shows similar pattern throughout the year. The aged population in Sweden increased gradually from 1940’s and 1980’s,with average between seven percent and just under 15%, exceeding the number of aged population in the USA before the year 2000 and finished just under 25%. Similar pattern can be seen in USA, increasing gradually from 1960 and 1980, with a plateau from before year 2000 to 2020, it finished just under the 23% in 2040.
PS: please check it and give me honest feedback. Please help me! Thank you in advance!***
The graph reflects the proportion of the population over 65 years, in a period of 100 years (one century), from 1940 to 2040.
Overall, there is increasing in aging. Initially in Japan the inhabitants are younger than in Sweden and the USA.
In 1940s approximately 5% of the Japanese people are over 65. From 1960 to 1980 there seems not to have a sharp change. From around 1990 the population is getting slightly older, as in around 2030 the over 65 years old inhabitants is exactly 10%. From 2030 up to 2040 there is going to be a sharp increase in 70s population.
At all there is no such an enormous difference between the population of Sweden and the United States. Both of the countries are inhabited approximately 10% by people who are over 65 years old. In 1980 both in Sweden and the USA the population at that age is around 15%. From 2000 to 2020 Sweden's population getting much older than in the States and Japan. In 2040 the inhabitants of the three countries is going to be at almost the same age,as Japan's population over 65 will be a bit over than 25%. In Sweden will be precisely 25% and in the US between 20%-25%.
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