Task 2: Developed Countries Helping Developing Countries

by mehreen

IMPROVEMENTS IN HEALTH, EDUCATION AND TRADE ARE ESSENTIAL FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF POORER NATIONS. HOWEVER,THE GOVERNMENTS OF RICHER NATIONS SHOULD TAKE MORE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HELPING THE POORER NATIONS IN SUCH AREAS.

TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.


In today's sophisticated society,people of the developing countries are still fighting for their basic righs such a better healthcare,proper education and a sound source of income.While the governments of the underdeveloped countries are struggling to improve the living standards of their people,I believe that contribution by richer nations should be more in this regard.

To begin,all human beings should help each other.Govenments of richer nations can take many steps to improve the living standard of the poorer naions.

Firstly,in the field of healthcare,developed countries can support he underdeveloped in many ways.They can send their expert doctors to train the medical staff in the developing countries.Also,they can open free medical camps in the selected areas of poor countries.In this way free medical advice could be given.Such camps can also start health awarness compaigns to make people aware of unhealthy lifetyle. Moreover, experts from the developed countries can also help with the vaccination programmes in the developing countries.This will led to decrease in infant mortality rate.

Secondly,assistance in the field of education should be provide to the poorer nations.The developed countries can provide funds to open new schools and polytechnic institutions.These will not only increase the literacy rate,but will also provide vocational education.Furthermore,the rich governments should provide the students of poor countries an oportunity to study in the prestigious institutions by giving scholarships.This will promote poor people to gain higher education.

Finally,rich nations should help to improve the economy of poor countries.This can be done by promoting free trade.This wil reduce barriers to international trade such as tariff,import quotas and export fee and will help to lift the developing countries out of poverty.

To conclude,if we want to live in a beter world with peace and harmony,we should always help each other.Therefore,I believe that richer nations should help the poor countries in all the fields.

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Here is the corrected version:


In today's sophisticated society, people of the developing countries are still fighting for their basic rights such as better healthcare, proper education and a sound source of income. While Because the governments of the underdeveloped countries are struggling to improve the living standards of their people, I believe that contributions by richer nations should be more in this regard.

To begin, all human beings should help each other. Governments of richer nations can take many steps to improve the living standards of the poorer nations. (it is not really clear why this short paragraph is here – paragraphs should really be at least three sentences. I would delete this as you seem to be just repeating your thesis)

Firstly, in the field of healthcare, developed countries can support he underdeveloped in many ways. They can send their expert doctors to train the medical staff in the developing countries. Also, they can open free medical camps in the selected areas of poor countries. In this way free medical advice could be given. Such camps can also start health awarness campaigns to make people aware of unhealthy lifestyles. Moreover, experts from the developed countries can also help with the vaccination programmes in the developing countries. This will lead to decreases in infant mortality rates.

Secondly, assistance in the field of education should be provided to the poorer nations. The developed countries can provide funds to open new schools and polytechnic institutions. These will not only increase the literacy rate, but will also provide vocational education. Furthermore, the rich governments should provide the students of poor countries an opportunity to study in the prestigious institutions by giving scholarships. This will promote help poor people to gain higher education.

Finally, rich nations should help to improve the economy of poor countries. This can be done by promoting free trade. This will reduce barriers to international trade such as tariffs, import quotas and export fees and will help to lift the developing countries out of poverty.

To conclude, if we want to live in a better world with peace and harmony, we should always help each other. Therefore, I believe that richer nations should help the poor countries in all the fields.

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Further comments:

Grammar and vocabulary:

Overall, your grammar control and range of structures are very good, as is your vocabulary and collocations.

You had a lot of spelling mistakes, though, so be careful with this.

You miss your ‘s’ in quite a few places as well.

Organization:

Your organization is again good. Clear paragraphs with each discussing a central idea, and transitions used to help the reader follow the ideas.

Only problem is with that ‘dangling’ paragraph at the beginning. It is like you have just repeated your thesis again.

Content

There is small issue with your content. You need to make it clearer WHY developing nations should help developing nations. You have instead focused most of your ideas on HOW. You do mention this in your thesis, but your essay would benefit from a bit more information about this in respect of each factor within each paragraph.

The question insinuates that developed countries are not doing enough, because it says they ‘should do more’.

So for each of your ideas / paragraphs, it would be better to first spend a couple of sentences stating the problems developing countries have with each issue, and then going on to say why developed countries are in a good position to help.

Here is a possible example to show you what I mean for your paragraph on health (I took your last idea out because it may be getting too long):

Firstly, in the field of healthcare, developing countries face dire problems. Taking the African continent as an example, diseases such a malaria and AIDS are prevalent, resulting in thousands of deaths every year, and malnutrition is also a major problem due to drought. Developed countries have to send more doctors to train the medical staff in the developing countries. Also, they can open free medical camps in the selected areas of poor countries. In this way free medical advice could be given. Such camps can also start health awarness campaigns to make people aware of unhealthy lifestyles.

You don’t have to organize it this way, but you do at some point in your essay need to make some reference to the problems developing countries face and why developed countries are in a good position to help.

That said, it’s still a good answer and you still make reference to why developing countries need help so I’d expect it to get a good band score, particularly because as I said you have very good organization and grammar.

Comments for Task 2: Developed Countries Helping Developing Countries

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Oct 24, 2012
format for wrting
by: Ruchika jain

for ielts exams this is a sample of task 2. never start your writing with using "I" in first paragraph like you did. Or write 4-5 paragraphs.

In first discuss about the factual statement. use 2 and 3 paragraphs for agree and disagree point with any example. while concluding the writing in last paragraph you can use i, but not in first paragraph with your final view.

Aug 27, 2014
one of para
by: Anonymous

In the field of infrastructures, there are finite transport, energy, and water services in poor countries. It causes people difficult to conduct business internally and externally. Developed countries should provide technical as well as machinary supports to strengthen their infrastructures. As a result, the improved transport may attract foreign investments which can boost local economy. At the same time, it can also improve people’s living standard, allowing them to access clean water and electricity.

Sep 22, 2015
You
by: Anonymous

You spelled 'right' wrong in your introduction. hehehehehe

Sep 26, 2016
German
by: Anonymous

Just stop taking this persons spelling mistakes and we all better off countries should stop these pathetic fights and help the poor counties. How would we like it if our loved ones would go without so please have a heart and help these counties. If we did our bit no countries would be poor think about the babies and there little stomachs without food. Please let's do our bit.

Oct 25, 2017
a small request
by: Anonymous

Can I take information from here. I found this post very interesting and could help me a lot in my research work.
thank you,
anonymous

Oct 27, 2017
a small request
by: IELTS buddy

Yes though if you just copy it your tutor may find out from a simple search.

Feb 01, 2018
How to prepare
by: Kusum jain

How to prepare for ielts exam?

Sep 17, 2019
How much bands this essay is upto NEW
by: Anonymous

In Today's highly competitive world, poorer nations are struggling for enhancements in medical , education and trade for their development. Nevertheless, it should be better for them if richer nations government supports such underdeveloping countries. I partially agree with this opinion because of some reasons.

First and foremost thing, developed nation have surpass supply of these resources. So, sharing for them is affordable. Many rich nations doing their bit in helping poor nations . For instance, recently American government donated around 33 billion dollar in welfare of African backward people and areas. But being dependent on rich nations for development is not good for developing nations.
Secondly, many developing nations striving hard to make improvements in these sectors like India had literacy rate of 41% in 2000 but, according to the 2015 reports it was 78%. On flipside, support from rich countries will make their own people to feel bad and they think that authorities are not using funds for their own progress. Recently, a campaign was introduced by England local citizens to stop funding to poor nations. So, government have to stoo such help.
Furthermore, richer nations government should open door for foreign and for imports.Then, they can also provide scholarship to students poorer nation to study in their country's universities. So , these steps are realistic and many rich nations are following in this these nations can provide a relief for poorer nations in terms of development.
To conclude, it represents nation social values and humanity if they take responsibility to fulfill these basic resources for poorer nations but, they also ensure that they are not making poorer nations dependent on them, this is my viewpoint on this opinion

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