Task 2: Advertising

by muhammad
(Bukhara)

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.


Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


I think that everyone can divide all advertising products and services into useless ones and useful ones. It is like looking through an information desk when you pay attention to those messages that interest you. Take me for example.

I do not like jewelry. It does not mean I do not have it at all, I have a couple of inexpensive rings as gifts from my parents. I just think, people pay too much attention to this stuff. I believe it is the result of mass advertising. Every day when I am watching TV, listening to the radio or reading the paper I notice many ads about getting an expensive ring, chain, necklace or ear-rings. From my point of view these kinds of advertising contaminate people's minds. In this case you are encouraged to buy things you do not really need. They make you believe you need such products in order to succeed or be happy.

From the other side, I think that advertisements of the new detergents with up-to-date formulas to help you maintain your cloth in perfect conditions, the new cars with some extra futures that make your traveling more comfortable and sports goods that make your life healthier may help you to improve your life.

Recently my husband and I saw an ad on the Internet about a very interesting and inexpensive vocation to Japan for a week. Is not it awesome? We like traveling. So now we are planning to find out more about it and, may be, make reservations. I belief that without advertisements we would be unaware about plenty of oppotunities that may make your life happier, easier and less stressful.

My point is that every person has his own scale of values. So if he is vegetarian he will consider an ad about meat products useless for him.

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IELTS buddy
Feedback


Generally, your grammar and vocabulary are ok. But you have a problem with your work because it is not written in an ‘academic’ style.

You are using the first person (“I”), but we do not personalize it like this with academic writing
(apart from when you give an example or in your thesis statement).

You also need to organize your ideas more clearly and have a clear opinion as the question asks if you which opinion you agree with but you do not make this clear. You need clear topic sentences as well.

Look at the way I have changed your answer below – as you can see, your ideas are ok, you just need to change the way you write them:

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Re-written version in an academic style:

Adverting products and services can be divided into ones that are useless for us and ones that are very useful. I believe that although advertising can encourage us to purchase things that are not necessary, overall it is beneficial.

A negative side of advertising is that people are encouraged to buy expensive things that they do not need. One thing is jewelry and this is the result of mass advertising. For example, every day when watching TV, listening to the radio or reading the paper, many adverts can be seen about getting an expensive ring, chain, necklace or ear-rings. From my point of view these kinds of advertising contaminate people's minds. In this case you are encouraged to buy things you do not really need. They make you believe you need such products in order to succeed or be happy.

However, there are also benefits of advertising. For example, advertisements of the new detergents with up-to-date formulas to help you maintain your clothes in a perfect condition, the new cars with some extra features that make your traveling more comfortable and sports goods that make your life healthier may help you to improve your life.

In addition, it can also help you to find out about things you would otherwise miss. For example, my husband and I saw an advert on the Internet about a very interesting and inexpensive vacation to Japan for a week. We like traveling, so now we are planning to find out more about it and, may be, make reservations. I believe that without advertisements we would be unaware about many opportunities that may make your life happier, easier and less stressful.

To conclude, every person has his own scale of values, but in my personal opinion the benefits of advertising outweigh the drawbacks.

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