this is a well written essay as i read. however, in the introduction, you wrote you have a different view, it sounds very unclear whether you are disagree or you partly agree. it is better you could clear your position in the beginning of your Balanced diet and a healthy life essay.
the first and second body para seems to be a concession paras, and last para is your opinion. in terms of the ratios, maybe you could write only one concession para and write 2 para which support your own ideas, make your view strong convince to reads.
Improve your IELTS opinion and argument skills with a series of topic-based lessons that include listening practice, key ideas, useful vocabulary, and natural opinion language.
Explore an IELTS Debate on Rural to Urban Migration with clear arguments for and against, useful vocabulary, and practice materials to help you develop strong speaking and writing skills for the IELTS…
Listen to an IELTS debate on remote working, explore the full transcript, and learn key vocabulary. Improve your listening skills and develop ideas for IELTS Speaking Part 3 and Writing Task 2.
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