How can I improve my coherency for the IELTS essay?

by KOMIL
(TASHKENT)

You know it seemed very easy to write essay at the first time when I’ve started writing task 2 however when I submitted my assignments to my tutor he told me that you can make your sentences clearly but there some mistakes with cohesion you should follow the rule.

What kind of vital advices can you give which could facilitate of my writing process.

Can someone comment on my coherence in this paragraph?

by leo liang
(sydney)

below is one paragraph about negative effect by IT, which i write for practising my coherence

Technology has led to significant improvements in people’s life, do u agree or not?

A particularly dire effect of developments in technology is lack of family bonding. This is because people’s behavior has been changed by modern technology. For example, in recent years the younger generation tends to enjoy their time on their online life such as checking facebook rather than interact with their families at their free time. If they expose to this situation for long time, they may only live in their own virtual world. As a result, it will not only decrease their communication skills, but also limit their social opportunities with people from outside.

Phrases for Giving Examples

by vahideh
(hong kong)

A question comes to my mind. In writing task 2 I plan to clarify a point of view. can I say that "To illustrate this point of view, ....."

For example:

"One the one hand, some people think that parents are responsible for children's education. to illustrate this point of view, ......"

What are the best IELTS writing cohesive devices?

by saeeed
(teh)

Hi to all.

I have studied your marvelous sample writing task 2. If we like to write multiple ideas, which one of following structures is better? I mean which one get the better score.

First structure:

In this structure, I use the 'firstly' and 'moreover' to separate ideas. please take a look at this example:

Sth has several disadvantages. Firstly, one of the most important item is that sth is useful. Moreover, another disadvantage of sth is that it is free.

Second structure:

In this structure, 'one of the most important item' and 'Another disadvantage of sth is that it is free', are added, we must not use 'firstly' and 'moreover'. Please take a glimpse on following example:

Sth has several disadvantages. one of the most important item is that sth is useful. Another disadvantage of sth is that it is free.