Student Sample Essay:
(new delhi, India)
Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society.
To what extent do you agree with this view?
In today’s time we come across plethora of advertising via various mediums like Outdoor, Print, TV and Online. If done ethically, advertising is beneficial to advertisers as well as consumers. However there is a rising concern about some companies using unethical methods of advertising which is having a harmful effect on the society. In following paragraphs I will delve deeper on the issue.
In today’s time, TV viewers get to see lot of advertisements during breaks in between their favourite TV programs. This deviates their concentration thereby reducing entertainment value of the programs they are watching. Another drawback attributed to advertising is that kids and youngsters fall prey to appealing advertising of fast foods chains like Mac Donald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Pizza Hut etc and they get attracted to unhealthy fast food resulting in various kinds of health problems like obesity, juvenile diabetes etc. Also, few people argue that some companies use obscene materials in their advertisements to attract views which pollutes viewers’ minds especially that of younger ones.
On the contrary, some people are of the opinion that advertising helps in increasing awareness about a company’s product or services. People get to know about company’s new offerings easily through advertising. Without advertising publicity of company’s product and services will not be possible. Thus advertising helps companies in increasing their sales and profits. According to some school of thoughts, advertising creates demand by educating its target customers about new ways of using an existing product or service.
To sum up the discussion, I would like to add that advertising is important for a company to sustain itself in the competitive market but companies should follow certain ethics and a code of conduct in order to eliminate harmful effects of advertising.
World Count: 290
-------------------------------------------------IELTS buddy feedbackGrammar and Organization
Its generally a well-written and well organized essay, and you should get a good score for that.Content
The only slight issue I would have with the essay is the content in relation to answering the question.
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question - remember it is asking you about the METHODS.
Your essay reads a bit as if you are just discussing the advantage and disadvantages of advertising.
Unethical methods would be things like advertising cigarettes at sporting events, or subliminal advertising (such as in a film - when the person does not even know they are being influenced),
You do tackle this, but a few points aren't specific enough. For instance in the first paragraph you say that children are influenced by appealing advertisements - you should mention what methods are used to influence them.
So the key point to take away is - always read the question very carefully: underline key words.
If you address the question fully, though, I think you can get a good score.Thesis Statement / Opinion
This thesis statement looks a bit odd:
"In following paragraphs I will delve deeper on the issue".
Also, you need to make your opinion clearer. The essay question asks if you agree or disagree but it is not clear what your opinion is.
For this essay, I would delete the last sentence of the introduction and then make your opinion on the issue clearer in the conclusion.
"On balance, although advertising is necessary, it is clear that in some cases the methods used are unethical and are not acceptable".