Success Essays

by Tinash

Hello, friends please give some feedback for this success essay. Do I need some changes on this or not?

Success means the desire was strong enough.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, many peoples are getting chances to experience a joy of EMPLOYMENT. Additionally, various sacrifices and knowledge can be the attributed for these generally positive trends. However, others believe that, without a lot of struggles as well, citizens are able to embrace the goal. I will explain both sides of views and try to reach a conclusion.

It is true that, nowadays, in many parts of the globe, no one is staying on tensions in their lives. It means, they have become successfully experts to pull out a joy. Similarly, owing to their a good educations and cognizances on the concerned pre-plan, today they are now called as successful person. It is fact that, to get a high level of position, a typical person must has to graduates from a university. Considering this fact, peoples often prefer to gain their target, since their childhood. So their desire become strong enough to upgrade their intelligence, which is an enviable for them to grant the target. For instance, Ram Krishna Dhakal, one of the most popular singer of Nepal since his childhood, has now recently got an award of being best singer. He got this only because of his desire and sacrifice on this area. It means, only those could be fortunate one, who indulge themselves in desired plans.

However, other oppose these views. Firstly, they claim that, nowadays, peoples can easily be lucky enough in portraying the image of success. It is to say that, most peoples have their own known professional belongings, owing to which, it sustains them to acquired the level of that position. Similarly, it means that, no any solid desire and talent are indispensable to become famous in capability. Another aspect regarding this topic is, some inhabitants get an ample opportunity to be well known unexpectedly. For example, if certain people attend on seminar, where he or she have to exhibit his or her views and ideas, such thought could attract some third person, who would provoke him or her to be a part of concerned business, which fortify his or her lives consequently. Thus, a plethora of endeavor and a huge strive can not be sometimes the factors of being success.

In conclusion, although behind some success has some prominent desire and struggle, but in some situation, this can not be the cardinal reasons. I personally think, without any sacrifice peoples also can achieve their goals.

Comments for Success Essays

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 18, 2014
Success Essays
by: IELTS buddy

This is quite a difficult question.

It is asking if you agree that anyone can be successful in what they choose if they are motivated and work hard.

Or do you think that it comes down to, for example, luck or privilege.

You seem to mention these things in your essay but it is very confusing and difficult to follow your arguments, and to work out exactly what your arguments are.

You seem to be trying to put in lots of complex vocabulary rather than focusing on getting your point across clearly. Your ability does not seem good enough for this high level vocabulary because there are quite a few errors. So you need to simplify your writing.

And it is very long - 400 words. Did you do everything such as plan, brainstorm, write and check in 40 mins? That seems unlikely. You should be aiming for around 265-300 words, but not much more.

You need to focus brainstorming a few key ideas and planning clearly how you will support them with reasons and examples, and improve your coherency.

Work your way through the IELTS Essay Writing Lessons

Thanks and good luck

Click here to add your own comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.

Money and Success

by Sarvar
(Uzbekista, tashkent)

Please check my IELTS success essay and provide feedback.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Only people who earn a lot of money are successful.

Some people think, who earns much money is successful. I partly agree with this statement. Money indicates people`s condition and reflect their life. However, others believe, that people who have not got a lot of money can be successful too. Having much money has a lot of advantages, but it has some disadvantages too.

The rich who have high salary are successful. For the several reasons, they can effort what they want and own: big houses, cars and many influential friends. In the present day, Money may solve the number of problems in life and these are one of the particular advantages. In addition, it creates good conditions to live and it has positive effect in lifestyle of each person.

However, some people believe, that money creates not only a beautiful life but this also makes and some drawbacks such as: dissatisfactions with personal life, fake relationships with colleagues and leisure time. Because, those who make money are working hard and their success in this. They are time consuming in work due to he or she can not effort environment in free time. In addition, people have fake relationship and be friends for money. I think, that this is true in life.

In conclusion, Having a good education and having a happy family are the best way to successful. Because, this is the real things and it doesn’t depends on a lot of money or any conditions. I think, that successful is having a real attention with people and happy family.

Comments for Money and Success

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 28, 2014
About the Success Essay
by: Speaker

Speaking generally, this essay doesn't have sufficient expressions and appropriate phrases.

As well there is lack of words especially academic words.

In my opinion this work is not able to embrace given question. It is more likely that explains advantages of being rich rather than why you are agree or partly agree with this statement.

Ultimately it can be assessed up to 6.

Nov 16, 2015
by: Anonymous

The person who this is wants to be rich, that's what it's trying to say

May 16, 2016
Not satisfied.
by: Anonymous

It was not up to the mark...being an author..I can find many mistakes which are common in many of the lines...your success essay lacked strong points and the essay was too short.

Anyways!!! Don't lose hope. Keep trying till you succeed.

Thank you!!!

Aug 15, 2016
by: robo

what an essay?

Click here to add your own comments

Return to IELTS Essay Feedback Forum.