IELTS Computer Delivered Tests + Band Score

University Essays

by Ckoi


Hi I am new here, I have been taking IELTS exam for about 6 times already and I havent got my desired bandscore of 7 in my writing test.

I would like to share my essay and I am hoping I could get a comment and corrections from all of you.


Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



In the past, there was a big disparity between men and women with regards in receiveing education; wherein, young girls were not given a privilege to go to school while boys on the one hand, were sent to the most prominent academy at those times. However, nowadays there is a propostion being raised that Universities must admit an equal amount of male and female learners in every discipline; in which I do firmly agree.

To begin with, having a coeduacational institution is not that always harmonious, men and women in a one set up could lead to chaos because it is inivetable, they do not get along very well, on the accord that they do not think the same way, do things evenly or even believe in things similarly; Nevertheless, despite of such diffrences are a handful advantages.

First, because of the fact, they do not conceive alike, creative and wild ideas will eventually sprung out from each one of them in every subject they are into. Second, there will be a balance expression of insights that could enhance and develop their understandings about their various topics.Lastly, acquiring a tantamount numbers of students in both sexes can and will aid them to widen their perception and knowledge.

In summation, I do believe that there are more beneficial outcome in having an equal number of both male and female students in each subject matter in all academies in the globe.

Comments for University Essays

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May 07, 2014
I am preparing for Ielts too but
by: Anonymous

In my opinion , you need to come down , honestly saying, ur essay is just a page of complicated words and it is hard to find ur direct answer to exact question , i don't know if i have spelling mistake or not but i am sure that u now know my opinion about ur essay . This matters .

Jul 12, 2014
sentences are too high to understand
by: Anonymous

I think your essay is too high-class which is far beyond the understanding of beginners. You can write your essay in simple sentences.

Jul 18, 2014
Essay
by: IELTS buddy

Unfortunately I think the comments above are correct.

You look like you are trying to use lots of complex words, but they are not all used correctly and it is sometimes unclear what your point is.

You do need to simplify things.

Did you plan before you wrote the essay?

You need to plan carefully - decide what each idea will be to support your point and use examples to explain it further.

Take a look at some of the writing lessons for Task 2 on this page: IELTS Lessons




Sep 03, 2014
avearage
by: deepes

its true that some of the sentences are long and some of the words are complicated. It would be better to make it simple and clear to score better ielts marks.

Sep 17, 2014
essay opnion
by: Anonymous

Yes am agree with all who commented before that your words are tough to understand...Like i just wants to write an essay for my Language paper but could not understand the mean of your words..

Sep 26, 2014
incorrect focus
by: Anonymous

hi. i believe that ur essay lacks proper ideas. u talked too much out of topic and put emphasis only on structure and words.the main priority for u should be appropriate idea and a little support of it

Oct 02, 2014

by: Anonymous

hi i am beginner, i want to ask the question that in writing essay should i use simple words or high vocabulary. because some people say that we should use high vocabulary


Oct 02, 2014
Vocabulary
by: IELTS buddy

Hi,

You should do what is within your ability. There is no point in using 'high level' vocabulary if you are going to make lots of mistakes.

You are likely to get a better score if you use words that you know you can properly.

Keep learning new vocabulary and practice with it but be careful in the test.

Nov 21, 2014
not so good
by: Anonymous

Should give 3 or 4 examples too??

Jan 07, 2015
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students
by: Anonymous

hello, I agree with your point that there should be equal no. of men and women in universities. I am afraid that your way of presenting your ideas is not comprehensive.

we should try to write as many positive points in support of our arguments in the given word limit and cut down useless info that the examiner is supposed to be least interested in ( like your first paragraph. you should add in more positive effects which the proposed suggestion will lead to. like societal perspective will change, equal opportunity, greater understanding b/w men and women etc.

I hope you understood my point didn't take me wrong.

:)
all the best

Apr 27, 2015
I agree to the comments
by: Rohan IELTS

Yes I agree with the comments above....it's a bit complex need to plan the essay in a easy way

Jul 18, 2015
essay writing
by: Anonymous

There is no doubt that we need to use less common vocabulary. But problem with you is that you are using complex words unnecessarily.

You need to make your points understandable. If you are saying something, you must elaborate.

An essay is not just to show that you know difficult words. Difficult words are necessary but when required.

Try to read your topics on google. Acquire some knowledge.

hopes you will like

Sep 02, 2015
good
by: Anonymous

its difficult to understand because you mix difficult word

Sep 02, 2015
pml
by: Anonymous

not so bad

Nov 03, 2015
difficult wording and the use long sentences
by: Anonymous

Hi everyone...
i read this easy. it seems there are some difficult wording in it and the use of difficult wording is not understandable for the learners.
and other thing that i wanna share, you used lengthy sentences.

Nov 18, 2015
small mistake
by: Anonymous

hey..... friend....you use high vocabulary and know one student anderstand so use simple word and i think u shoud re-write and solve your small small mistake.

Dec 29, 2019
Excellent essay
by: Yash

Too good

May 21, 2020
Write essay of this tpic
by: Anonymous

Writing Task 2....

It is often argued that the Human Values are better practiced and taught in India than other countries.
To what extent Do you agree ?
Please elaborate with relevant examples.

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Ratio of Male and Female Students

by Rachel - butterflyB908

Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


Many people feel that both females and males should be in equal number when attending a course at an educational institution. I am inclined to disagree with this statement. Due to gender equality most people feel that everyone should be given equal rights, but it strikes me that this is not the case.

To begin with, It seems to me that women have always been treated inferior to men, it has been a struggle through the years for them to stand out and not be judged by people for what they do for a living. And I can say that the same goes for men. Why males cannot be stay at home dads? Why females cannot be football players or engineers without people judging them? Having the same number of man and women in each class seems like a good idea, that way all of them have equal chances to stand out and pursue their dreams regardless their gender.

Nevertheless, to my way of thinking this measure solves the problem of gender equality but creates another issue. It is true that people should be treated the same, but, a University is the place where people are accepted for their intelligence, their character and ambition. For instance, it is not fair to take an equal number of females and males when maybe the male candidates are better, or the female ones. It is a matter of who deserves the place, that should be the only criteria.

All things considered , I firmly believe that Feminism is about people being treated equal. It is not fair to anyone if opportunities are taken form men and given to women or vice-versa. Everyone should fight for what they want and forget about all the stereotypes that stop us from achieving our goals.

Please comment on my essay

Comments for Ratio of Male and Female Students

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Jan 18, 2015
Read sub topic.
by: Anonymous

In the two body paragraphs you have two different views. That is not considered appropriate according to sub topic.

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Free Education for All

by naomi chisi
(Cork)

There are many benefits to a good education. Therefore, a university education should be offered to all students, not just students with good high school grades.

Do you agree or disagree?


A good education opens many doors, hence tertiary education is important and should be offered to everyone who is willing to learn. This essay will discuss the reason why university education is essential and should be provided to all students.

First of all, society only offer tertiary education to students who do well with their high school diploma. Although, this makes some students to work extra hard so that, they are accepted to university of their choice. However, I personally agree that university education should have been offered to everyone who is willing to learn regardless what the outcome of the high school grades were?

Education itself is a key to many opportunity a person can have. Being educated not only does it open many doors for the individual? But it also makes a person to think and act appropriate. There are many advantages for having university education. For example, nowadays when you apply for the job almost on any application form there is a question of highest education level. The highest education level you have the better chances for you to be given the job. Furthermore, community always admire a person who is educated, not only are you respected by many people but you can be a role model to the young generation.

Beside, being educated can take you places you always wanted to go. Travelling around the global not only are you seeing places, but you are able to learn other culture from differences society. This can help a person to be open minded and see things different. And finally, education at the end of the day make the world a better place for everyone.

***


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Essay on Taking a Second Degree

by Aim
(Bangkok)

Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen fields should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?


Nowadays, more and more students graduate from universities each years. Some of them get the job they want, but others cannot join their desired position. While some graduates willingly work in an unwanted job, I would argue that they should enroll and complete their second degree in order to get the perfect position for them.

Some people believe that graduated students should work and live by their own salary after they finish their degree, despite getting an uninteresting job. Two main reasons should be given to support this point of view. First, some parents think that it is waste of time to finish the second degree, and that their children should get a job to gain their own earnings. Second, some successful people in the world haven't worked in their firstly desired job, so they have tried many jobs before they find which position is perfectly fitting to them.

On the other hand, some people advocate that graduates who are not be hired in their field of study should register for a second degree. They believe that if students cannot get their suitable job, this mean that there are too many students who graduated from that field of study. For example, there are more than 10 thousand engineer students who finish their degree in Thailand each year. Therefore, graduates should study a second field in order to be different and get a better job.

To sum up, although it is true that students who get an unwanted job could get their desired job in the end, students that choose to study a second degree would get a better chance to find the job. Second degree-graduates definitely have wider knowledge to apply to many different tasks. This could be an advantage for them to gain a position they want.

***

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Restricting University Entry

by Anandita Rizki
(Indonesia)

University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


At the entrance university examination, the prospective students’ application mainly selected based on their overall academic performance at high school. It is argued that higher education only provided to the youngsters who have an outstanding academic performance. As a result, only low percentage of young generation can attend university. In my opinion, I believe that it should be accessible to everyone.

The term of outstanding academic performer can lead to an injustice judgement. Genetic factor plays an important role in developing a smart person. But this factor is not enough. In fact, intelligence is affected by many factors which strongly related to how much money you invest. This can be ranged from simple to complicated things. Brain needs nutritious foods as well as supplements to develop well even since we are at our fetus stage. Thus, we obviously have to increase our budget to fulfill this kind of needs. Other factor is the education facilities that we can afford such as schools, tutors, and books. Its price often followed by its quality. The more we pay, the more we are likely to get high quality. All of this can only be afforded by the richs. The poors experience difficulty in providing the nutritious foods and education facilities for their children. As a consequence, the group which comprises of very best students at school often belong to the richs. However, nowadays many scholarships are available for the poors. They can successfully graduated. In fact, there are many cases that their life a way much better if they have their university degree. When the restriction is imposed, they don’t have the equal right to pursue their degree in tertiary education.

Education is a long-term investment for the future of a nation. Its benefits are going back to the whole society. By giving an equal chance, there will be more population that hold their university degree. Each person give their best effort because they have a skill in particular area which they had acquired in university. They can be seen as the country’s assets to improve the quality of its human resources and, moreover, accelerate its economic development.

To sum up, I completely disagree that the university is merely an exclusive place for those who marked as an outstanding student. However, everyone is capable in pursuing their degree. Therefore, higher education should be provided for all.

***

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Accepting Male and Female Students

by bhowmick
(USA)

Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject.

To what extent do you agree or disagree.


Education is considered backbone of a nation. It is also an important element of human life. No nation can develop and prosper unless properly educated. However, both men and women are equally considered to contribute national achievement. Hence, to ensure empowerment and gender discrimination I believe that the universities should offer equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

The main reason I support the notion that the tertiary institutes should accept equal number of boys and girls is to eliminate gender discrimination. In many countries in the world especially in western countries both men and women enjoy equal degree of freedom in all aspect of life. Unfortunately, this is not the same in third world countries. In fact there is an opposite picture exists especially in poor nations where male dominate in most of the aspects. For instance, in some nations male doctors are not allowed to inspect and treat female patients and thus the authorities give preference in female candidates in those subjects. Whereas in developed world there is virtually no sex differentiation and pupils can get admitted any subjects they are interested in. What I want to highlight here is that if educational institutions pick equal number of students from both gender it will not only eliminate impartiality that might exist once graduates enter employment but also equalize the balance between male and female employees.

The other reason I strongly believe that all educational institutes should take the same number of male and female candidates is due to gender empowerment. As we are aware that female candidates may have more attraction to nursing programs whereas male candidates may be interested in sport. This way it might bring inequality of gender ration once they are graduated. Therefore, to avoid additional candidates to a particular discipline universities can offer admissions same number of boys and girls. In fact, such practice would help to stop the disruption between both sexes and will make sure empowerment of both sexes uniquely.

In conclusion, needless to say that for every stages of national and international achievement both sexes are vitally essential. So I believe that both male and female should receive equal level of education and, hence, all institutes should accept the same number of genders in every subject.

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Going into University or Work Essay

by Henry Le
(VietNam)

I'm going to have an IELTS test this September and here is my most typical way of writing a writing task 2 answer. Could you please suggest me the band that i am at so i could improve it as soon as possible please.

Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


There is a wide range of choices for students to choose after high school these days. It is argued that people should continue their academic process by going to the university, whereas some opine they should be motivated to contribute to the world as soon as graduating. The upcoming paragraphs will discuss both opinions and draw a possible conclusion.

To commence with, the most plausible reason to study further in university is obviously to improve technical experiences in the specialized area. For example, learning major such as law, medical or architecture requires a huge syllabus and years of theoretical and practical training before mastering their field. Although it is challenging and often causes discouragement to the students, the future career that requires advanced knowledge usually offers them high salaries and diverse perks. Therefore, further education is not only a better choice, but also is essential.

By contrast, working without a university degree has two main advantages in terms of time and money. To exemplify, it is surveyed that nearly 60% of students in poorly-conditioned countries are unable to afford the university‘s tuition while others have to be responsible for their old-aged parents. Therefore, working as manual labor could not only decrease the financial burden on their family but also is less time-consuming as the students are not required to study 4-7 more years.

To recapitulate, people have different views on whether students should further their academic study or start looking for a job after high school. Personally, it is partially agreed that young people should go to university if financially allowed because it seems that they are more likely to succeed in the future.

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Jul 23, 2020
Good work
by: Abhigyan

Hi,
I am not an expert so I’ll avoid give any band or score. Essay seems really god and different variables are available such as complex sentences and good vocabulary. Therefore I think it’s a good work and all the best for your exam.

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IELTS Essay: Choosing a Major

by Venkatesh
(Hyderabad. Telangana )

Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying careers.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?


Nowadays, it is crucial that every student has to take wise decisions in their career. Most societies consider that they need to select a university where they can pursue the desired course. It will result in excellent salaries in their life. I strongly agree with the point and will outline why potential learners benefitted from this.

There are several key benefits which stem from a college major. Firstly, it will enhance knowledge. Indeed people who select the subject which has been explained in depth about courses will include field trips, internships, and live projects. These are perfect examples of how students ace their brains. With this, they can know what is subject-based and what everything will include. Although by this method, they can learn ubiquity and understand and grow their skills. Secondly, students can participate in co-circular activities. Numerous universities conduct Debate competitions, Quizzes, and Sports Tournaments. Now students have a chance to boost their Resumes in particular fields. Indeed, enrolling on this will play a vital role in their life, resulting in impressive placements.

Despite this, there are significant outcomes for good pay. The first one is that they can develop the technology. After successful completion, students pursuing information technology will join in a dream job in this field, and now they are imperative for an organisation to develop the technology. With this company, sales will surge with innovative developments which impact salaries which they good amount of money. Another essential part is finically independence. Individuals who take wise decisions to pursue the career they have Secure jobs at the age of 25 will aid various aspects of their family. Such as money in countries like India, for instance, they are critical for expenses in the family.

In conclusion, making good moves will help for various reasons. Students need to understand before choosing which will help them to take the Zenith position.

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IELTS Essay: Importance of University Education

by Gurkiran kaur
(Gurdaspur, Punjab)

Some people think that the best way to succeed in life is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


While a certain section of society believes that acquiring a university degree is paramount to become successful in life, yet there is some disagreement regarding its importance in this modern era. This essay will discuss both the viewpoints before deducing to the conclusion in my further paragraphs.

To commence with, attaining education from the university or college enables the students to grasp in-depth knowledge about specific subjects. To elaborate it, these students will have the opportunity to understand the background information by engaging in detailed studies and concepts of certain fields, resulting in an increased familiarity and practicability of the ideas. For example, a graduate in business would potentially have stronger hold over the different business terminology and fundamental principles which would assist him/her with enough knowledge to handle any of its applicability in the real world. Ultimately, the graduates tend to qualify for much bigger designations in any organization owing to their information domain. Hence, a university degree, by being added on the resume considerably account for the success of a person. Another key point is that, not only pursuing the education from colleges aids in academic growth, but is also advantageous from the social perspective. As the university going scholars will have more links established and built long-lasting friendships by the time they leave their institutions. In addition, these social circles could undeniably count worthy for their satisfaction at deeper personal and emotional level. Thus, the link between the higher education and success seems significantly fair.

On the other hand, tertiary education is becoming less popular due to the widespread availability of information on the internet, accessible to everyone at their comforts. To explicate, people can now easily learn new skills by signing up to plethora of courses available online. For instance, many youngsters are learning the photo editing courses by paying minimal charges, unlike the universities, and getting paid for their skills. As a result, the considerable shift towards e-education has revolutionized the way people access information and build their careers. This makes them successful irrespective of their academic qualifications. Along with it, web services have various perks for the entrepreneurs as well. To put it another way, individuals with or without degrees can use various tools and platforms such as instagram, facebook or online selling portals for the marketing of products. To exemplify, a famous cloth selling brand named Biba, is being run by its founder on instagram without having in prior knowledge in the business. Thereby, the obligation of having higher studies is no longer a prerequisite condition to excel in life.

In conclusion, although it appears that the popularity of e-learning has paved new ways of becoming successful, I believe that the idea of having a university study is of far greater significance for succeeding both professionally and personally.

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