This writing task 1 pie chart is discussing proportions of staff employment in the public sector over two years.
There are two charts, and if possible it's better to try and compare categories together ('age' in this case) rather than just describing one pie chart then describing the other.
By doing this you will better highlight particular similarities and differences over the years.
Now take a look at the question and model answer. There is a discussion of why the writing task 1 pie chart would get a good score below the model answer.
The pie charts illustrate the ages of people employed in the UK public sector during two years, 2015 and 2020. Overall, while the percentage of those employed in their 20s and 40s increased, employment for other ages groups, particularly the over 50s, fell.
Turning first to the younger age groups, although the employment of workers under 21 actually fell from 14% in 2015 to 12% in 2020, the overall number of workers under 30 actually rose because of the surge in employment of 21-30 year olds, which increased significantly from 23% to 33%. Similarly, the number of employees over the age of 40 climbed from 19% in 2015 to 28% by 2020.
However, other groups saw quite significant falls in employment. For 31-40 year olds, the employment figure plummeted from 21% in 2015 to just 11% by 2020, which represented a substantial drop of more than 50% in relative terms. Likewise, the employment of over 50s declined, though not by quite so much, standing at 23% in 2015 and 16% in 2020.
The description fulfils the task as it summarises the information from the graph, selects the key information, and makes comparisons of the data.
Rather than just listing each point it shows how each has changed over the two years, highlighting particular differences.
There is also a clear overview presenting the main trends over the years:
The writing task 1 pie chart is well organised into clear paragraphs, with the first body paragraph discussing the general categories that have risen, and the second showing which have fallen.
There is a good mix of vocabulary, such as using 'rose', 'increased' and 'climbed' or 'fell', 'plummet' and 'drop' rather than just repeating one particular word. There is also a good mix of compare and comparison language more generally.
There is also a good mix of sentence types, with several examples of complex sentences, such as:
"I think these eBooks are FANTASTIC!!! I know that's not academic language, but it's the truth!"
Linda, from Italy, Scored Band 7.5
(1) Charity Spending
(4) Brick Manufacturing
(5) UK GDP
(6) Team Scores
(7) Electicity Generation
(8) British Emigration
(9) UK Visits
Line & Bar
(10) Car Theft
Pie & Bar
(12) Modes of Transport
(14) Making Chocolate
(15) Monthly Expenditure
(16) Tea Manufacture
Pie & Bar
(18) Borrowing Books
Line & Pie
(21) Staff Employment